- in the name of Allah -
..still wandering through this fucking maze, missing all that which I once craved, am I zombie or am I slave? reminisce over that lost innocence, where things were simple and I content, so many tragedies, miniscule yet catastrophically, pulling apart the foundations of my need. religion calls perpetually, promising that it'll save my soul, yet no guarantee fate won't rewrite my book, alluring at the start, but all of me is what it took, at end a glutton devouring whole. run, run, along those paths, where most others now their savings have, invested full while minds wander dull, accepting soft excuses, as to why their supplications' useless. "its a thing delayed", "its a boon kept in bundles warm", all to justify why life's a bitch, ever to be scorned, no matter where one's stayed, whether mansions or in caves, any hope kept afar becomes soon depraved. trust, oh friends, is to me a two-way street, where things I wish and my hopes, may in solace meet, but once a wish is lost and blown to wind, there's no turning back the clock, a diamond's dust to grind the truth slowly in: all of what once was has now shattered, broken glass in further pieces, across my cosmos scattered. I've no desire to be an ant on God's farm, to bide my time with all my fellow insects, judged for my burrows, while life to me pays no respect. I'm no king (or queen), no father, no husband, no one with significance teeming, just a soul wandering alone, sick of the "trials" supposed to make men whole. damn this catharsis, damn the penitent to hell, their salvation was always undeserved, though with egos never swelled. with eyes that perceive only recurring travesties, there is no glimmer left, in this meandering for me. time shall end and so shall I, dreamless sleep I hope, to accompany until dawn appears nigh.