10.30.2005

-in the name of Allah-
So, it's been one month since I last updated my blog, though an eventful one month it's been. Life's progressing and will contonue to do so, inshAllah. I learned something about the meaning of love, but don't ask me what it is- every freaking poetic I've written since I 'figured it out' has sucked. Words just can't do what they used to, they can't mean as much or enough, or anything close to the 'real thing' at all. Of course, someone I know found this out already, but alhamdulillah, they had the patience or persistence to (indirectly I guess) see to it that I learn as well what they knew. The following are examples of just how stupid and utterly ridiculous my latest poetry has been, and perhaps will be for as long as my memory allows.
__________
thinking of you
10.30.05
every thought of you and the world comes to stand still, all the cars and people and lives in motion no longer matter. it's a future's gate with you at the other side. i can't make these poems rhyme anymore because you took all the air from my lungs when i tried to speak, leaving me speechless and full of reality's vacuum.
you were right- words are the biggest injustice to be perpetrated, especially in the past few weels, trying to verbalize what you mean to me is like watching the sun rise and making a title of a book that can never come close to the real thing. so for now, all i have is this pen and the letters of injustice to inflict, because if i tried to keep it all inside i'd lose my sanity's mind and appear normal to the world in spite of the rift.
surely stars are overplayed and you'd outshine them any day, but what about galaxies of milky glows? would they be able to encompass you and what your heart shows? i doubt it, but i'll try anyway, crossing whatever planetary systems from Hades to Heavenly- it'd be the same because i'd be seeking you forever.
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Ok, so that is corny and many other things, but it's about as close as I can come with words these days to relating emotion. Go figure.
(hasbiAllahu wa ni'mal Wakeel)