10.22.2023

a Present Moment

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ


One of the hardest truths to stomach is how the nature of oppression is self-perpetuating, as the oppressed themselves become extremely skilled at oppressing others when their chance comes to impress their power on people.

I love peace, serenity, understanding, truth, beauty, justice. This dunya has often if not always, sought to erode and vanish these ideals from just about everywhere my eyes have looked. That is the reason I no longer expect to find these things anywhere, except to try and sustain them in myself, to whatever degree my Rabb permits me, sometimes more and sometimes less.

The struggles of brethren in that place, something that has stuck with me for decades. I was hopeful when the peace accords were happening in the 90's, for a kid that's an easy thing to be drawn to. But then there is the onset of war, so many wars, and the fuel of it all: hatred, distrust. Iblis has done a masterful job convincing so much of humanity that others aught to die, that their own living can only happen when the "other" has met their death. It is...saddening, a cause of grief. Some scholar once mentioned the idea, "one-state solution", with "equality for all its citizens". I do not think reality capable of manifesting this, but I absolutely love the idea regardless. Perhaps if neither of 2 sides saw themselves as better, then both might consider each other their equal? Do not all people desire this for themselves? 

I know these words will fade to the wind, like I will too one day. One soul can't quite change the course of humanity once they set their minds to destruction and keeping control of power. 

My Rabb, forgive them for their sins, grant them an excess of patience to endure and not become oppressors themselves, for if the choice of vengeance or peace was offered, permit them the wisdom to seize peace, that they might show others the best of us, ameen. 


Among many other thoughts, my beloved cross my mind often. Even my first Twin, whose bridge I hope has not entirely been lost. And if it has, then it is well, my Rabb owns us all and our return is to the same place anyhow. I hope you retain dua for me, as the pieces of myself always remain in mine. ma'asalaama