- in the name of Allah -

Watching part of Bayyinah's Quran Cover-to-Cover series, came across the another definition of "fitnah":  when gold is purified from ore.

Is it at all amazing this process requires tremendous heat to separate the gold from the impurities? The symbolic connection to catharsis is...staggering. I figure humanity as a species fails to appreciate this lesson over and over again, because the moment we get caught up in a passing hardship it's like the only thing we can see, it clouds the vision and makes itself seem so much larger than it is.

Ain't true. Indeed with every hardship, comes ease. Also helps to keep Allah in mind in the midst of those storms, so we can foresee the growth coming after their rain.


- in the name of Allah -

of hopes

I hope that inferno stays ignited, with flames that never wane,
I hope it casts the brightest light, to open the doors of Paradise.

I hope that heart holds fast to faith, with zeal to match the blaze,
I hope it finds the best of reasons, to marry tomorrow in every season.

I hope that face retains its eager smile, to greet with patience all in life,
I hope it lets go of any frown, and tastes as sweet any lemons or limes.

I hope that soul keeps its reassurance close, as days pass by in blinks of eyes,
I hope it finds good with Allah everything it knows, and seeks to always fly. 


- in the name of Allah -

Typically when I've used the term 'grounded', it's referred to a means of being connected to the earth, being more in tune with aspects of dunya. Curiously, it doesn't seem to fit these days. Given as to how I've fashioned with Allah's help goals of akhirah, it seems I've adopted the perspective of needing anchors into the skies, rather than the kind that go into the earth. These sky tethers as I'll call them, help frame the connection to looking forward, upward, of bringing that which is far off (in human terms) nearer. So if that is the case, then what stops me from being absorbed into that state, from 'forgetting' to live as it were? Simply put, the reason is Allah. His will keeps me here so long as He decrees and there is no advancing or delaying it. I don't think any stronger means of being grounded could exist, so this should serve iA as the useful counter in those moments where I try to become even more immaterial than I already am. 

As to yesterday, alh the moment did pass, though its afterimage sticks with me. As one particular sky tether reminded me, "in the end, waAllah that is all that matters", an advice to keep focus on the goal ahead and not worry on the intermediate unknowns of this life we can't solve right away. Sound counsel mA.


- in the name of Allah -

somehow need to staunch this gash, find a means to control the flow, holding my guts in my hands, just a pen but when words are all that I am, being written disembowels whatever's inside, so I'm left barely breathing, barely a man. 

one gasp and stricken, this is the day where I wish nothing came out if I spoke, but from down within the trenches a void reigns so letters manage to choke, making handfuls of syllables in a crowd of anguish, vast solitude becoming to my goal a yoke. 

it's just a moment, then without trace it'll vanish, a present from fate though I never planned it, need to open the wrapping, thank Allah I'm still alive and able to stand it. 

- in the name of Allah -

tomorrows of today

underneath every ambition lit, inside of every rising spark, there's a flicker of you within, helping push away the dark. it's as if the past was but a prologue, a vapor made from souls tested to utmost limits but never lost. I've reached many times the fences to meaning in expressions, natural enclosures that almost prevent me from getting my point across time and spatial dimensions. these monologues, they seem to stretch for eternities along deserts of mirage and oceans of fog, landscapes created to obscure the vision and make this life seem the end of all. but it is not and can never be, as from this dream one day we'll wake and prove ourselves in what we've seen, inshaAllah.



- in the name of Allah -

If It's Better (as only Allah knows)..

...I hope these words you come to find:
as soothing rain, when life has left you dried,
as a pair of wings, when days are flightless filled,
as beacons bright in starry skies, when light fades from mind,
as gentle shade, when summer's heat is but a blaze, 
as an autumn breeze, when distress makes it hard to breathe.

If we considered stars as blessings, then Allah gave me so many that shine, 

And among all those gifts, you'd be my nova, glowing forever sublime.


- in the name of Allah -

Ya Rabb, please hold my place, 
there, in Firdaus, where dreams await,
Ya Rabb, I beg of You, my heart to hold
with You, for now it becomes, just so cold.

Oh Allah, sometimes, I see as enemies in allies,
wonder I do these steps I take, towards death or life?
if by all around, friend or foe, I am questioned or loathed,
please sustain all I am, in mind and heart, body & soul.

Oh Turner of Quloob, keep mine in Your company,
I am no caretaker of anything, with me would it I lose.
all of man may me a pariah cast, all around my being may shun,
but if You alone should bring me close, what fear have I, to be undone?

Ya Maalikul Mulk, I own nothing, desire here even less,
only that Your favor upon me be complete, so with You I may rest.
let me see no other Saviour, let me find no other solace,
except in You to defend my hope, and with You fulfilled a promise.



- in the name of Allah -

not enough expressions in the language, not enough seconds in the minute I'm given, to truly tell how far go the blessings, from past to future to present, it's just gift after gift laden by meaning transcendent, every pain from yesterday wrapped into purpose, seeking Allah's presence and mercy like arrows in slow-motion loosed, He showed me love so I might lose it, taste the loss so I knew what to chase in the best of places (Firdaus) at whatever the cost, He made my inner nature gravitate to ideals to see how the world would crash them and burn in ashes, that I might become the phoenix and soar to His Heaven with all His wind at my back, He let me be with my parents in old age and reverting in nature, that I might have another chance at His pleasure by giving them their kindness earned without reserve or measure, He let me wander through darknesses while never buried completely, so I would treasure His light when He brought me through them to see, He gave me every thing I've ever had, made me every thing I'll ever be, so I might show for His gifts gratitude and gladness, a road through every hardship and angst, to find myself with Him for ever in eternity complete.

For Allah, because it seems I (can) never write enough about Him. 


- in the name of Allah -

Looking Forward

there is a vision I've seen of autumn trees changing colors in the breeze,
a pallette to dazzle the senses, enrapture the eyes, tranquility for the restless. 

it hung in the sight for just mere minutes, before reality once again beckoned, 
but subhanAllah was it so sweet, a step into Gardens even better than I can dream.

this, by Allah's mercy and permission, just the beginning of bliss, a glory without remission.
- in the name of Allah - 

Among other thoughts lately, it occurs to me that the notion of "fighting fate" is a very flawed one. It is not fate that one is ever truly fighting, but rather one's own self. I suspect fate is an easy scapegoat for one who's faced troubles that take more than he has to defeat them, so by blaming 'fate', there's no need to accept responsibility for one's own part in the failure. 

No doubt I've done this in the past, in some attempt to understand things too painful to swallow while too shortsighted myself to see beyond them. I do not think the human being ever needs to worry about fighting predestination/qadr/fate/time/etc. All of these are just excuses and pretenses created by the weaknesses of our lesser selves and shayateen, so that we wallow in the misery created instead of being able to open our eyes to something greater. In essence, if we give in to the temptation to lay blame on something else, we invite despair into our lives. For if the afflicted one can blame something else, then what else is there for him but to despair that it happened because he had not control over it and thus justify to himself his lowered state? 

It is true we do not control what comes tomorrow, what the weather may be, whether we will even live or die a year or second from the present moment. But I suspect the weakness we have to deny responsibility plays a large role in overstating how important "control" actually is. Truly, it is not as mighty as we give it credit for, especially because the human being is not at the center of the universe, not even his own if seen at a personal level. 

Maybe the most important crux of Islam is the ability of submission, to accept that Allah is greater than anything and everyone, that the highest position of a living being is to be considered His slave. Unquestionably it's hard to give in to this notion. Human beings love their sense of independence and self-direction and choosing the path they want. Perhaps in all other facets of life this can be indulged to a small degree. But the exception is and must be with Allah, that our recognizance of His ultimate dominion over everything and especially over us remains steady in our vision. No matter what our societies shape, no matter what technologies we form, it does not and can never compare to Allah and His creation of all that exists to begin with. Being able to place the self and ourselves as a species on the right balance of things, that is where the strongest and best path to serenity is. 

It is also true that not everyone is given the ability to submit. Wealth, power, influence, children, looks, etc, all of these are given howsoever Allah wills to whomever He wills. But being able to submit, that is to declare Allah supremely above one's self and one's self immensely below Allah, that is given by Allah only to those whom He loves. For those who do not care for that, who do not seek Allah, this presents no issue. When they disregard Him, they only risk being disregarded by Him; their recompense not a thing far off. 

But what if one does care to be loved by Allah? How to seek Him? The answer really is amazingly simple: just make dua and ask Him to make one among those whom He loves. The beauty of this is that, if Allah loves someone, He creates pathways for him or her to find Him, see Him in aspects of life, makes guidance a thing beloved to that individual. Something so incredible, and I think the way there is so unimaginably simple: to ask Him.