of a Year

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

the year, it comes nearer to its close, of parenthood my first, pushing always boundaries of what it is i think i've known. ever ready to learn new things, never afraid of challenging my own ignorance, could not progress an inch if i ever thought i alone sufficed myself as an answer. my Rabb paves for me my road, with pebbles yes but strength and purpose held within firmly while not for observers obvious. 

what can i say of beloved, for most i am in presence absent, but perhaps it is true what they say, 'with' is a state of being inside the chest. i wonder how their journeys fare, what twists and turns and shocks, what most pleasant of surprises, what joys enriching lives, and what makes their smile widest. i forget none of the pieces that make up my soul, none of the pieces of my cosmos...never think thyself forgotten or by fate forsworn...for patience is my sword, cleaving from Tomorrow the roads that connect us eternally at once, in Firdaus as home, iA.

a note for those Oppressed

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

these days, it seems in the most chaotic and devastating the world's landscape has known in maybe a century, there is something i notice from so many people, Muslims especially, that makes me think there is something critical missing. so much protest, so much anguish on display and conveyed in media, so many battles with words and public opinion as weapons. 

what bothers me most: do people think that other *people* will be their saviours? do they imagine that the feeble will and ability of creatures like themselves, their own selves whom they do not wish to accept as needful and humble (though fate has cast humiliation over them as a blanket), that others would heed their call and save them from their torment which they are incapable of forestalling?

perhaps the stupidest train of thought i have ever seen. my own experiences and disillusion long ago, warned me away from seeking that type of refuge or aid from people. 

the point of saying that, is to lead here: where is Allah in their pleas? why do they think that more cameras and attention of mortals will save them? 

my point, if i can make it, is that mortals will never be their saving grace, that the only One Who could save them is their own Creator Who tried and tested them in the first place.

i know so, so well, the price of asking and wondering what my Rabb intended for me for in something i went through. the first price i had to pay was submission, not to any person, but to Allah, first foremost forever. there was no path i could see, taking into account the weakness of humanity, that led anywhere meaningful, if i did not factor Him into my equation first. 

i can't say there is solace in having to turn back to Him, at least at first. it will not mean an end to the pain and suffering and loss of our beloved. but eventually, there is solace, because what can others do to us if they threaten with only a means of our ascent to Heaven itself? there is no land on this earth that deserves to be grubbily sought after and grasped with desperation like that. does not matter where it is, even one of our beloved cities and lands. why? because this life is never the place of our fruition, our peace...human beings WERE NOT MADE TO LIVE HERE FOREVER. your road, my road, our road, is a temporary one. we will all be called back to Him sooner and later. 

i beg you, turn back to Him and leave off asking people to save you. if there is sanctuary anywhere on this earth, only He will lead you to it. if there is no sanctuary here, then wait with patience for Him to do with you as He wishes, whether it be in living or in dying, because ultimately there is good in either direction He takes you. and after that, i can't say how long it will take, but after, there is peace bi ithniAllah. patience, dua inside prayer. what else do we have? fight weapons of the world with belief, it'll be the last thing any one of us is left with before death comes for us.