Arced

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

 

 

 

if I could I would have my ocean alter the arc of your destiny, so one Day might come where you dive straight into me, breathing and swimming the same as existing, air no longer needed as the liquid is enough for inhalation. 

 don't think there's any message in a bottle i've left unwritten, look back through these pages and you'd see most everything i ever held within some manner or other, spilled onto the canvas, forever trying to be a painter of pictures with words instead of brushes.

all i really am left to seeking, your visage embraced, acceptance and fullness, ecstasy and  wholeness, mirrored chapters out of a book He hasn't yet fully published, as we live on the road to fulfillment.

the blessings He's shown me...incomparable, farther than distance, brighter than lumens, beyond measure when measuring sticks are found to be utterly insufficient - so many of what others might describe as 'coincidence', tricks played by faithless minds unwilling to grasp the surrounding nature of His works in us from our very beginning, these gifts are unimaginably unscripted, except by the Architect of Everything, the Creator of all existence, servitude truly only belongs to One such as Him. 

so much more than the sky we see with our eyes, He adorned the canopy of my living with beloved who accentuate and capture its beauty and brilliance, they shine at varying angles and times, unpredictable and welcome their intertwining with mine, giving cause and substance to the ocean, that i might survive this life's trek, looking forward to our intersection when i am 'pieces' no more, rather whole is the puzzle and relished the pie, iA

Sanctuaries

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

 

 

It's impossible to overstate how precious fuel from one's beloved is. In a moment recently laying down with my Mia, an emotion I have sought every day of my existence washed over me like the most welcome tide. 

 

after a day at work weighed down by the stress of trying to fit into a broken world as one who thought himself most often in pieces, there, with her, the world was right again, things fit into place, I fit into place. Alhamdulillah, infinitely many times over.

 

I know such a state isn't permanent yet, and I know it is only part of the beloved that complete my puzzle, but to hold such a moment in one's memory and retain it as a buffer against the trials of life is how I keep going, alhamdulillah.  

 

~

 

Can't forget another moment, a hand grasped for the first time, almost like the 3 first hugs ever received some years back. I can recall each of those moments vividly, as if the mind had saved them visually for replay forever. And of course, mention has to be made of the following historical statement, from one of my beloved:

 

"If I wanted to, I could rape you, right here. In fact, I could seduce you then rape you." 

 

It was amazing and insane at the time I heard it, and it remains so now lol. Putting aside the vulgarity and connotations of some word choices, I suspect the underlying motive is one of a need and desire that has brewed for a long, long time. As with any brewery, emotion too can ferment and become more potent the longer it sits.

 

This life is definitely a test for all of us. One of the reasons by which my Rabb allows me some measure of patience is the goal of being united with my beloved. Among the most savored of future experiences will be when I can truly see the complete extent of a brew after it has aged for a lifetime, - how would it taste? How would the expression of my beloved manifest, when it was permitted to be free as it wished to be? 

 

A lover longs not only to love, but to bask in the radiance of his/her beloved. Perhaps He would permit me to safely/eternally revel in the seduction and escapades of my beloved, when our earthly stories have finished and deeds of judging have passed. It's an exciting thought, and tbh it is one piece of the overall puzzle. 

 

Many things we see and wish for in dunya, that due to their nature or mechanism we are prevented from because of sin or danger to us. But what is there to be said when such consideration is gone, when freedom and our wish we are allowed to possess fully?

 

InshaAllah, duas remain that we live to see that Tomorrow, as one.