Grammatical

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

so busy, so much thinking, planning, so many angles and sub-objectives, matters needing attention, ideals to be manifested, durability and longevity, endurance against obstacles and elements, of the self and one's home, issues of foundation, things to be fixed and brought up to spec, so much by which to be distracted, reasons these well and good, but so does my study and work pursuit need its own mention, not simply that which i leave for the end of sentences. 

for the beginning of paragraphs, reservations made for beloved, ones kept internally simmered, slow cooking but unreleased, many emotions and reunities waiting their turn for embrace at the gate of Peace. plenty of questions unanswered, silences kept for reasons likely fair and well-intended, doesn't quite stop the question mark from being so piercing with tiny cuts where ignorance is a dam long since opened and flooding to the limit of my cognizance. 

the road is long, longest for the lovers who try holding true to the highest of objectives, their Maker first and forever, followed thereafter by mortal beloved whose trailing absence is as periods or commas sequential, indicative of foretelling, foreshadowing, but these eyes too shortsighted to see all the wisdoms that He placed within my every circumstance, alhamdulillah regardless, among my recently learned lessons, are these:

i can never remain distant of Him, never upset or so fraught with disillusion and malcontent that i would turn away from caring for remembrance, that in my overwhelmed moments, rather than away - towards my Maker must i turn first, lean on Him to account for all my weaknesses, all potentials unreached or reaching, all mistakes and sins in days past i let cloud vision. i think my need of my Rabb surpasses any other mortal, so deep it is, my own capacity by self-conflict inhibited, held myself back in so many ways on levels sometimes forgotten how deep, how old they persisted, but Future's sway is brightest, longest lasting, strongest, so the road of Tomorrow is where the nomad's steps keep walking, ever for his sought the seeking.