of a Moon fulfilled

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

not something predicted, not something could have said decades ago as expected, but the moment came when i got to see her eyes, smiling while fully contented, assured by His gifts, tempered and strengthened by His tests, this was a state - captured in a photograph of course - that this slave had to recollect and save in his chest of memories. tiny laments of my own distance, wither away into ether, because He replaced absence in your bosom with a love even closer and deeper. if i may speak on it, reflecting from my own time with my Sunlight, i know he's borne out of your ocean, belonging to you just as your belonging is his, in ways that will forever escape words' efforts to capture but writers attempt the message regardless. 

alhamdulillah, a congrats laced with the wish of the best of khair for my beloved's beloved, another pumpkin whose plumpest years may pass without a chance for me to pinch or kiss, no problem at all, knowing you gained the coolness of your eyes, this knowledge suffices and erases my own momentary absence. our duas evolve, becoming more inclusive, whole, selfless, effort and endurance emanating from our selves for them as effortlessly as breathing, alhamdulillah for these gifts.

the trials, though, haven't ceased, because they exist for the living, the ones seeking. my reach for Tomorrow, the way it shades and gives shape to my intents and purposes, remains alhamdulillah. reunification has not lost its glimmer, but other brightnesses dot my sky, and duty fills me whenever the heart's well runs for a moment dry. a nomad walks on, journeying with his provision, never forgetting his Maker Who blessed him with everything he had and everything he aimed for. 

of an yet-unwritten beacon

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

"I guess I'm going to close the gap in the window, some chapters need to be closed. To keep the nice memories hidden from outside." 

don't know if she still scrolls these pages, a beacon as yet unwritten, perhaps the most noble of any i'd ever known, grace and composure, loyal down to her bones (repeated this twice to me,  maybe just so I'd know), beauty to match her inner fire, that was for now, tempered by choices made and lived with, for this life she hadn't chosen of her will to make all her own. "in Jannah inshaAllah", amazing how those born of my same year, found resonance across all sorts of barriers in distance, culture, language. 

curious how once such people He causes me to find, truly beautiful, but then from them He causes parting, and so distance reasserts itself, so our patterns might be woven as He designed. alhamdulillah for it all, for smiles and quirks embedded within memory and hope, etched into my aims, a celestial star to forever hold.

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Alhamdulillah, been in Maroc with wife's fam for the better part of the past month so updating here has been little less frequent that I'd prefer. a couple things i need to write, maybe a third too, for beloved of mine that by His grace, continue on shining. 

before getting to those poetics, have to mention how my Rabb has been sustaining me of late. this trip, first time traveling with my Sunlight, proved to be exquisitely challenging, but specific blessing happening before we left, on the flight itself, and regularly since we've been here, keep on reminding me to be constant in my shukr. New job was going well alhamdulillah before I left, so hoping to continue being productive there once i get back. This year, of all the years I can recall, my two elder bros have had my back in the most beautiful and appreciative of ways. it wasn't even about me being in a position of need necessarily, but a new dad with new job still building his way towards family stability and thinking about having enough for the various tomorrows being a parent brings, the people He gave me in this life, mA there are no words to do justice to what they mean. not excluding my dad especially, who spent his life working and saving and paying and helping his family and kids, these kinds of selfless, supportive and affirming lessons are the best ones this life can present to a slave, alhamdulillah. 

often these days, i am recalled to the ayah, from Surah Ibrahim (name of beloved's beloved, subhanaAllah), verse 7 :

وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ ۖ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِى لَشَدِيدٌ

"when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will certainly give you more. But if you are ungrateful, surely My punishment is severe.’"

these words been resonating in my mind much. it's something we all need, and mA when the doors of rizq and potential actually begin opening, i think shukr and remembrance of where it all came from, Allah, --- that is the most important, undeniable reply for us.