- in the name of Allah -


limited perceptions of mine frozen by time, isolation in such high doses it all seems frivolously designed. knocked sociality more than once, lost the argument more than twice, wrinkling the nose just doesn't bring the same feel inside. issues and wonder, questions without an answer, days roll smoothly along with only the self to find meaning from purpose cleft asunder. strings of apathy reach around obstacles and bends to try and take a hold of me, warmly embracing without worries or cares, matters for lesser mortals it pleads. can't let go again or else there may be no turning back, not giving a damn one more time and truly there might be no damn left to make even breathing seem worth the effort away slowly seeping. so mirrors should be friends or enemies, when no one else seems to bother with them anyway, shouldn't even care to please. its become about what has to happen rather than what should, for the ideal's been buried under sands of relic and value, with only the worthless left to represent the 'good and true'. my question at times is what to do, is simply the self refined enough or do we stretch our hands to those less fortunate, hoping to teach a thing I myself am ignorant of. I find there are no easy answers, no one step solutions, no formulaic equations to make life like math and all the complication just another part of living diluted. next steps seem like which next ropes to hang the hats off our heads first rather than our brains at least, only a time delayed for their moment of reckoning approaches without warning or cease. I can't scream insanity any more, its a plea of which I'm already guilty, so faith is just about the last pill left worth taking, the last remedy of remedies for spiritual aching. in this last poised stance, there are no spells to cast, no pain killers to lessen the past, but only hard heart aches to stomach and digest with a long gulp of patience to finally be free from dread. maybe tomorrow is a better day, and this possiblity is all I have, I've seen yesterday, and its only a drag.