- in the name of Allah -


It seems like it's time for me to post here again. The most recent stimulus is a recent, and infrequent outing with close friends. The behavior patters I've observed, in myself and in them, shows me a divergent path of growth: we are going in different directions. Some people choose to hold on to what is familiar to them and discard that which they find foreign or indigestable. It seems like this is happening now. There was a time when my thoughts and actions would almost linearly and proportionally coincide with those of my close friends. Over these past few years, as we develop in different ways and in different environments, some with more people and some with fewer people, this divergent pattern is becoming more and more pronounced. How can this correlation be detected? How do I know that it is based in fact rather than imagination? It is because my tendencies to be somewhat distant and aloof and separate from them now manifests itself in they being closer to themselves. Quite an observation, but it poses a bit of a predicament for me: of what value is social contact if it does increase one in closeness to someone else? I do not choose friends lightly nor is it a thing taken lightly, yet it seems the links I have had are tarnishing even though I have not exhibited full periodic isolation as I had tended to do so before. It is ironic, no doubt, that the one thing I needed over the years yet avoided assiduously ends up being the one thing I would like most but as it would turn out, periodicity in being present and absent isn't a thing some friends can understand or accept. So it is then, is it, that we lose bonds that aren't meant to be? Do we search in the seas of disastrous meetings waiting to happen on the lookout for something else worthwhile? Who knows, only time seems to hold the answers these days.