- in the name of Allah -


for the first time in a long time, I am posting on consecutive days. interesting, the forces that compel me here, but relatively unremarkable in the grand scheme of things. I'm still fully digesting the events of yesterday, just what it means, just how I relate, just how far to invite a (former?) stranger inside a place where I allow few to go. the first step is already in motion. a blog that I've kept since one my more fateful years that has only a handful of posts but no viewers besides myself is now potentially open. why? I imagine it is for the purposes of understanding, and the completion thereof. suffice it to say, barring any unforeseen dramatic exits, this singularity will know much of me almost willingly or otherwise. lol

no, this is not a mirage of love, or some vain concoction like it. if I could try explaining this phenomenon, it would have to be an amalgamation of minds - the first time I can ever say it has happened with someone else. I need not say that I have been searching for some intellectual equal, male or female, from amongst mankind as long as I can remember. one who can write and understand, along somewhat parallel wavelengths, where I seek growth and how life has progressed to the present moment. empathy among people with a real ability to think and decide, is truly rare. one of the only few questions I am left with, is how long would Allah choose to have me taste this sweetness before either it becomes as one with me, or disappears like the mirage of night it first appeared to be. no, it isn't that I question Allah. I've come too far, understood too much, to allow such foolishness fit for lesser minds to hamper my self actualization. some things in life are decreed, howsoever much we may wish them a certain way. while it may not make me happy to know such times, my acceptance of them and knowledge of their necessity as a trial in this life, makes it mostly gravy. still, I am wondering, at this time of early morning, whether I will find this equal again, whether our words will meet as raindrops in a spreading drought or as snow shards left in the upper reaches of atmosphere: will it melt and reform into one, or be blown by gusts of fate to directions unknown? it's obvious I haven't thought this deeply in a long time. for simple enough a reason: I haven't had a person with which to do so. at least, reflections suit me, so they cannot lure me to a house of horror but only a house of possibility.

- will be adding something about a mirage soon -