أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

One of the most beautiful realizations I found in life happened around May of last year.

In a sort-of farewell post, you described the missing piece of your early childhood history, telling me how you actually grew up, in the years before we met. I never imagined it was like that tbh, the way I saw you, it seemed like the world moved out of its way for you, a person kind and charismatic and full of dream. 

I know, silly and naïve and short-sighted, but then we were kids and kids tend to see the world with only the experience they have, which isn't much. Alhamdulillah though, I've gotten to know and complete the puzzle of my Moon, even if I hadn't known there were such painful pieces of the puzzle to begin with. 

But what is the other part of the beautiful realization? The things you said, you spoke of experiences primarily being a daughter, it was so timely for me, because subhanaAllah, in a few months' time, I was to become a father to a little girl myself. In a way, hindsight connected the dots for me, and I saw the lessons and wisdoms you gave me, that I should pass along in how I raise my Sunlight. How you interlaced your past into my present and future...incredible! It goes without saying, I express this kind of reality a lot when it comes to you. I suppose it should be taken for granted by now, but I don't think so, such ability to cause reflection and solace is literally like a divine instrument you were created with, insofar as it comes to me at least. Alhamdulillah my Rabb let me know such a one, to have such a state as a background with so many of this life's innate uncertainties. 

I also really have to mention...the post you wrote, was well before we'd done gender reveal. So as qadr would have it, your words were perfectly timed and prescient, your experience as a daughter to one about to become the father of a daughter, the most relevant intertwining with what was to come that I could fathom. Almost as poetic as the time I met someone with your first name and my last name at an airport by pure fated coincidence. Lol mA it is what it is. 

It's been awhile since I wrote a scene from our Tomorrow, need to do that soon iA, some evening or early morning this Ramadan while the mind isn't affected as much by fasting. 

for the Primal Primera

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

that summer's Eid, in the morning's early hours, we spoke at last our due, got to hear your words, to distill from our past its truth. 

you took me back in time, back in time, 

to 

when we were kids,

when words were far simpler things,

so

let me take you now:

to our Future's curtain,

unveiling its potential

as what we know for certain.

=

not long after He has me judged, and iA His full mercy given, i'll look for you, to place my hands over your eyes, walk you to your palace, breathing softly across your neck, help build the tension and surprise. sometimes, it's only one room that matters, the one where lovers reside, the first one they'll run to, laughing smiling and ready, to at last be ones that fly. 

the bed, more comfortable than a third of November, the sheets, softer than our whim, won't have to wonder what you wore underneath, some strings kept then tied, no longer, Tomorrow is for loosening of buttons, recreating our own Fifty Shades, so we let free, what all you'd kept inside. slowly fast, deeply savored every second, such is the taste, when a single lifetime, was the price for love we paid- the Garden's admittance, it cost restraint, and patience, to seek with endurance, the only path to finding His fullest of blessings.

i don't know what it's like to touch your skin, to know what you truly think, what your imagination held for me to unwrap and dive in, but my mind's vision, it won't forget that potential traded, of an instant's mortal pleasure, in exchange (iA) for an Infinity of unwrapping you over and over. if all i must give is patience, observance of His bounds, for a time as finite as this life of briefest living, don't mind a bit, passion is my choicest flame, to shine against the absence, and keep our aims forever lit.