Of Eid and Fasting

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

A slightly late Eid Mubarak!! to my beloved, it was pretty cool yesterday alhamdulillah. Wasn't sure what to expect, given how taxing Ramadan itself had been, but ultimately I could only conclude totally worth it all. 

Was considering some DM's to beloved, but thought better of doing so after seeing some beautiful Eid pics around, just want to capture those moments and hope they stay captured and preserved for them as much as possible iA. 

There is much I could say on the state of affairs in today's "post-truth" world...but I don't wish to speak so much on it. Suffice to say that I despise war and hate killing. I think this makes me by definition pacifist. I don't think so, but maybe. I also despise arrogance and bigotry and racism. Welp, there goes the full idealist. It shouldn't be any surprise the source of my misanthropy with life. Still, my beloved and kindred remain in my thoughts and duas and iA sooner than later help in material terms and spiritual terms will coalesce over the present reality. Qadr is among the heaviest and hardest of pills to swallow, especially when one's knowledge encompasses so little. But I do not own this world, nor am I its Creator. He Who created it, knows most well the course it is meant to take, for the paths ahead to pave as intended and every consequence to be wholly justified. May we be forgiven and find sakinah now and Then iA. 

disillusion

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

these days the disillusion only grows deeper, unable to bridge every gap between ideal and real, knowing the historical precedence of beautiful people of our past who lived as honest and earnest lives as slaves of their Maker could hoped to have led. 

but how to take their examples for our present? i see so many like demagogues, just repeating of historical actions as advice for those of the now, like the conditions or nature or challenges or absences or company is even remotely able to draw in parallels....it's not though, the differences are cataclysmically deep, and with the past few years....the facade of western gentile nobility has fallen away, to the most depraved submission to power as the standard to be respected. 

how can you dare imply that actions from millennia ago should or could be repeated in the same way, when the world around has only succeeded most in tearing down decency and revering wealth and its worldly manifestation? 

the disconnect is that i see people not making the case for the present, of how to transpose the character of the Companions into modern terms. To me, it is not a matter of should they be copied or not, it is about how would they act in our position? How would people of their ilk behave when faced with what we face? The world grows only more bestial, barbaric, worse than animal on a level that claws at my soul and gives me a sadness in depths i can't express. 

Simply stating their history is pointless, because i think the effort has to be understanding how they thought, how they felt, why they chose what they did. Knowing that, then we have to try and see what choices people such as they would make in our shoes. That is the essence of fiqh, trying to address individual and unique concerns of common folk so they can walk in a way closer to what they grasp as intended by their Creator. 

i don't know if i will ever be comfortable being around people in general ever again. there is no peace with them, forgive me ya Rabb. i suppose the nomad will live his days known only to a beloved few. i don't want to know anyone else, that part of me that turns away from humanity seems only to be getting stronger these days. alhamdulillah there is a saying  tho, about times near the last of days, where the confusion/corruption become so great and prevalent in society, it becomes preferable to seek isolation. well that is part of my nature anyhow lol. may my Rabb forgive me my distances from those whom i would love to meet.