-in the name of Allah-

It should strike me as odd, though in hindsight quite predictable, that a focus of mine on the psychological level should settle, at this point in life, on ghirah. For the uninitiated, this term means a sense of self-respect or jealously that is felt when one's rights or domain is thought to be trampled upon. Most significantly, the ghirah of importance is the ghirah of Allah, which is evoked when humanity worships others besides He who created them. As it relates to man, and how his temporal emotions go, ghirah is what is felt when one's personally apparent rights are thought to be overstepped by others. So how, then, does this term relate or affect myself? It pains me to write directly what is the case, so I will speak in a round-about way of eliciting the truth.


Why should it be that he perceived as righteous and holy should only seek a way of those decrepit and weak, to burrow in places supposedly more distinct faces would contradict by decrying as injust and illicit, where is the aught-to-be justice in the rights of men that dictates what should and shouldn't done where or when, can it be that what is, is what should be in spite of those rights apparently trampled in the all-consuming amble of time's march forward, why is such a case so difficult to externally express, whereas inside it burns with fiery and graying ashes a hornet's nest. One and one is no room for a third, numbers allied and enemies tried belie the truth of the second one's concerns.


This should be amply indistinct to cloud the truth, and still in some ways, release what is held inside.

-in the name of Allah-

How many days out of one's life are marked with transitions, from old to new, from youth to age, from vibrant to subtle, from ecstatic to subdued, from unknown to known, from insecurity to awareness, from ignorance to knowledge? In my own life I have known, of my own assuming, many such days, and these that pass before me now appear no different. No, I have not forsaken the promise I made to pursue, to endear, to make firm a foundation that begins in union with another. All people in life are subject to change, and it is within this frame of mind one can predict and allow for time apart. It is true there comes a time when words alone do not suffice, and actions' limitations become evident. I speak of words, as she would speak of them, that is, those typed in emails or instant messages. How came a life to find such material influences as electronic communication so important? It only underscores the era in which we live, an era of newfound challenges and opportunities. Distance is seperation, though not implying the non-existence of what is thought to be the in-between of this distance, which is physical in nature. Emotional distance, during some times in life, is necessary and should be alotted its due of importance, regard, seriousness, and understanding. Write when you wish to write, speak when you wish to speak, and I will find myself doing the same regardless of what you do. This, I believe, is the nature of one 4-lettered word that extends beyond the self, beyond the gain, beyond one's knowledge of the world. If love is what love is, then is not mercy from this derived? Let us define mercy- the display, in some form or other, of compassion or kindness to some one or thing. So I may conclude, that given my belief in Allah and His statement that His mercy exceeds His wrath, that Allah truly loves mankind. From this love springs His mercy, His command for us to attain nearness to Him, and give Him the best of what we can that is His due. Thus, love is benevolence. It is care without a wanting of return, a gift without thought of self-fulfillment, a one-way ticket with no recollection. May all of us understand what is love, and how we can find it every where in life, especially with Allah, our Creator.

-in the name of Allah-

Recently, I found myself in a situation where I could not comprehend the apparent mindlessness of a family member of mine, and so I resolved to write something to perhaps describe in words how I have seen some people behave. Mind you, this behavior results in little else than restlessness, and lack of any comfort, security, or peace.



From Within the Hive
8.23.05


I have seen inside
The tepid, luckwarm heart
Encompassed by the hive
As he plays out his only part

And from this frame
Never dares to stray
Despite an injury sustained
The will succumbs for the way

The mind appeals not to reason
Nor to mutual consensus
It asks but for logic's treason
Accompanied by eviction of the senses

Though in his method, therein lies
Peace of folly un-foretold
Where change but only dies
A place for whim to firmly hold

He cares for no opposing path
This being his singular devotion
Thus he suffers unintended wrath
For though he acted, he forsook emotion




As it may be clear to some, this is the metaphor of the worker bee, who quite mindlessly goes about a particular task without heeding attention external factors or motivations. It is my belief that this mindset is of special danger to the Muslim ummah, since the challenges of today must be tackled not by closed minds, but those that are open to understanding.

-in the name of Allah-

It has been said that the best writing, the best inspiration, comes as the fruit of the most intense pain. If this is true, then I can claim, perhaps, to passed through such a medium of forced self-clarification. My latest poetic:



In Light of Recent Catharsis
8.20.05


In this land of worker bees, where do I remain?
Stuck in shallow ponds of vanity?
Robotically perpetual? Or inherited humanity?
Or caught within ideal, an overtly shapeless strain?

Though they have what they in all of this desire
So have I, without so much a moment in regret
Though wondered have I, what does them inspire
For lacked I’ve all along of need, blessed by providence

Their aims do their needs and wants sustain
Likewise, mine reach for goals of more personal refrain
Though they claim existence in a world of ‘apparently’
I maintain my belief, in one of hidden invisibility

Surely, a path to sustenance I will require
Through straits and valleys, both trivial and dire
While the noon sun to sunset onward blazes
Past the productivities, beyond time’s boundless gazes
My goal, like once it began, still remains ever steady
To be secure in One, and with another share life’s melody

-in the name of Allah-

I was reading a book, "The Legacy" by D.W. Buffa, when I came across this quote by the main character, Joseph Antonelli, who is a lawyer in the middle of a case to defend an innocent young black man from a vindictive and corrupt San Francisco legal system. The quote is a conversation between Antonelli and an acquaintance, Marissa.

"Money can buy you freedom," countered Marissa.

"To do what- spend it? Earn more of it? Go on a cruise? Play golf? Retire? Buy a new house, a new car? How much of anything do you need? But you can always use more money, right? If a man ate so much at every meal he became ill, everyone would call him a glutton; if he drank every day till he passed out, we'd call him a drunk. But if he acquires more wealth than he'll ever be able to use, we call him- what? Smart, successful, a born genius, and someone everyone else could take a lesson from, but we don't call him greedy." (J.A. - pg. 272 of "The Legacy")


There's a lesson in this quote to be learned of society, and how wrong it is in its justifications. May Allah permit humanity to see the error in mindless accumulation and pursuit of wealth.

Money ain't everything.

-in the name of Allah-

Another day of this drawn-out summer comes to a close, and in some ways, one thinks how the start was different than the end. As in the previous post, a perhaps-sinking ship was rescusitated, and aside from this, dramatic leaps were made in self-actualization. It is true that from then until now, I and this significant someone have undergone major strides in what constitutes our relationship. However, there is one easily-overlooked domain that strikes me as the same.

In pouring forth the contents of a well for another to drink and gain knowledge thereof, where is the increase in knowledge that I myself am lacking yet unable to account for, in terms of how and why it has not been met? In the transportation systems of America, without any examination of its ethics or morality, it can easily be said that these systems are highly efficient, and maintain fluid traffic movement in often multi-directional situations. In the simplest and most basic of designs, such as that of back road or unfrequented street, there are still accomodations made for two-way traffic, and such understanding is built on the fact that people may need to come and go in both directions. It is odd that these parallels are not consistently adopted into the paradigms humanity builds for itself, or often it is that these paradigms disintegrate in form and purpose from that original design of simplicity and meaning in existence that made them so functional and desirable. It may be that is but another of the mysteries of the universe that only time, in its unabashed march to a final reckoning, will ever be able to answer for us.

-in the name of Allah-

So today it is that I attempt to recreate a ship which once was afloat, then dared to sink, yet now dares to float and navigate the roughest of oceans. Is it I who was or am captain of this ship? Indeed, this thought is perplexing. I could, in one sense be, for it is my decisions which factor into the fate of the ship. However, upon seeing the stormy, turbulent nature of the waters around me, I can in no way be assured that I am in any capacity to be the captain of this ship. Therefore, with my possibility excluded, there is that of a single crewmate. Would she be bold enough to captain this burgeoning vessel in the most trying of seas? Perhaps being bold enough is not a proper means of ascertation. In one sense, as it was in mine, she could be captain, as her decisions clearly impact the fate of the ship in much the same way as mine did. But, if this is the case, and we possess equal means and abilities as to where the ship goes, but I am not captain, then how is it that she could be? No, this is not chauvinism, nor it is a case for femenism to arise anew, but it is a realization that in life it takes more than two human beings, in whose nature lies fault and error and unbridled hope, to be aided by one more powerful than all of their conceptions combined. This one who sustains, is but Allah. It is He who guides the ship when it is being by the waves swept astray. It is He who comforts our hearts when the challenge of nagivation and destination become blurred by the concern of the moment. Alas, it is He, who will be the means by which, if it be encompassed by His will, we will ever reach the end of our journey.

Such metaphors are some of the ways in which we can understand our roles in life. Surely, aims for this life can be merely finite, so the best of the best resides in the life to come. By traversing the plains of this life, and crossing the river of death into a land unfathomable, why should we be daunted? Our guide has promised us a place, the best of places for those whom towards mercy inclines. Seek Allah wherever you are, and every time He shall find you, if He wills.

-in the name of Allah-

Some days seem not as others, yet if one feels in them the same, does that make them all as one? It is difficult to know for sure. Whatever the case, now on to my point: sometimes the appearance that reality reveals is that of requested or asserted isolation. Granted, I have known this previously, and so it is not myself that I refer to, but a certain someone. For reasons I may understand, communication has reached a slower point than it once knew, and of this one need only realize a little of life to find out why. That said, it is in this post that I serve to acknowledge what I hold to be the reality behind my perceptions, and I stand open to arguement and criticism in this regard; by all means, let me be correct or stand corrected.



Time Alone
8.12.05


while a thing its path in life may define
one point it assures: that progress comes with time
rome found not itself built in the span of a day
nor did all come to exist, without fight or fray
truth conquered, and truth also fell
thus is life, the fluctuating ring of inevitablity's bell
so, what has come to be, meant not to pass thee by
the world revolves, and in it brightens a darker sky
upon one day, shall believers rejoicing stand firm
uplifted by their God, while those rejecting only squirm
the tolls of this life appear as many, in truth are few
if seen is the Next, then plead to Him for guidance true



Hmm, this was composed on the spot, and it looks to join my short list of self-declared masterpieces lol. Of course, comments to the contrary are welcome, as are what responses it may evoke. Farewell for now my fellow human beings.


peace

-in the name of Allah-

So it is, that sometimes friends cannot resolve one's own personal issues, and so in seeking resolution supernatural aid is sought (by supernatural, it is implied only Allah, none of His creation). I was pondering over what sphere of life to which I may belong, and I could not reach a conclusive answer. Therefore, I proceeded to compose, and inshAllah (if Allah wills), this will be a means of finding the answer.

In Need of Another Sphere
8.10.05



People have friends, even enemies kept close,
Where is the script, where is the critical dose?
Is it of reality that one needs more?
When the place of yours, isn’t yours anymore?
Can men really be invisible? But a walking ghost;
Or can they know what’s greater, what’s worth the most?
Observing a sunrise of emotion, visible from any coast.

At times…

Love, a selfless pain that afflicts without hesitation,
Striking the unguarded heart with near-lethal visitation.

But at others, being…

Life, a refilling pool, is at once both drained and filled:
Where the light becomes in a prism instilled;
Within, a vacuum to prevent its casting illumination.
Thus, the darker spaces remain cloaked, in ruination;
That which was fortunate to be lit, is enlightened:
To ease the anxious, to dampen the frightened.
So how does one break this prismatic legacy of enclosure?
Perhaps, in only seeking the One, to Him being closer.

-in the name of Allah-

The following link will take you to my old blog that I never kept updated, but still contains lots of stuff in the form of old poetics and wise-like sayings. Feel free to browse.

http://yousafc.blogspot.com/



As for why I am choosing to revisit the blog concept, there are a number of reasons.

One of them is someone who is close to me, yet so far away. There aren't many people alive who don't have such a person to think of, but the responsibility arises in keeping that person where, for the time being, they best belong. This place of belonging for this person, who at the present fulfills mere ideas, should be one where their image as a human being is allowed to progress with each passing day, yet retains what has been learned from the past. Until the day comes, if Allah (the One true God) decides that we shall meet and be joined by the scared rites that religion establishes.

Another reason is that there is a certain wisdom in the ability of an individual to express what thoughts lie inside their mind and heart. If the individual exercises his or her right to express, then it is better for them to do so. This spares the heart of excess weight and lifts undue burdens from the mind. So, I write here to express, and in doing so, aim to help myself and, Allah-willing, others in the process as well.