-in the name of Allah-


It hasn't been as easy a road as I thought it would be. Time and time again, I find myself being away from all the things and people and places I used to know in life. Why is this so, why do I seem to run away, to avoid the subtle hints of the past? There's no more sanctuary left for me, that once used to be. It's raining outside, alh a little cooler now. Feels good for the soul.

Not two weeks ago, I thought it was all over in my mind; imagined I'd moved past all the ghosts of the past that haunted me...but that wasn't the case. They're still there. Slowly, I battle them for control of my soul, for a firmer grip on giving a damn instead of letting fate disintegrate plans into thin air. There's much I've wanted to say, but others have told me to do so would be unwise and purposeless. They are right. So, I will not. The remnants of years will remain as shards for my mind, until I can manage to construct another glass house. I would make it of stone, but stone doesn't let one see like glass and it opposes me in many subtle ways. Still, if Allah wills, a house of glass can survive a hurricane, so not all is or could be lost. I retain proofs of pains past, small evidences that convince me I wasn't entirely caught by insanity's net. Still, the past is where it will remain.

I was a fool. I still may be. But to forgive the fool of folly would be best for all.


Where is there to go from now but forward, what steps and strolls to take

that might make experience not a burden but a steward