- in the name of Allah -



Alhamdulillah, another day I'm alive. Life is truly precious when you think how easy it is to lose someone you love, especially a family member. I was thinking about how I would feel if my someone in my family died, how devastating it would be. And imagine, how one can care again when once it seemed like apathy would rule the day. Alhamdulillah for that too. Few minutes ago, I wondered whether it was better to not care and as a result not experience loss or to care and be subject to it every second of every day- I think the choice is clear: to care is better even though in doing so we may find sadness. The rationale would be that those who risk the least gain just as much, whereas those who risk the most tend to gain the same. Of course, the greatest "risk" in this life seems to be to believe in something we can't see. Science would have one believe that that's impossible, but it wouldn't be the first time it's been wrong and proven to be so.

Getting back to whatever topic it was I intended to start with, life is a journey. You can't expect to do it all in one day, or know exactly where your next pit stop is going to be. The thing that makes all the difference in the world, the thing that balances destiny and free will is choice, the only thing we control. We may not be able to understand the scope of the decisions we make, making it all the more important that we make positive choices with discretion towards moderation and due process. There's no end that is without its beginning, so if we never try we will never attain. It is by a first step that a marathon or a sprint is run, and it is by a first brick which gradually builds the skyscaper. I spoke with a friend today and we discussed some things I learned from my experiences, lessons noteworthy enough to mention.

1. online communication isn't the best
2. attachment can be dangerous
3. sometimes people don't mean what they say and say what they don't mean
4. the female gender can be quite complex
5. in the end, all you have is faith

For various reasons, these are part of the culmination of wisdom from experiences many years in the making. Asking why regarding these isn't as important, as the eventual acceptance and internalization that result. To find the path, in spite of the thorns encountered on the way, is better than to have wandered forever though never meeting a thorn and never being able to savor even the smallest victory.

Another interesting aspect of the conversation was the discussion of how a male-female friendship could be qualified within the bounds of Islam while still being beneficial for both parties involved. Previously it was my conviction that such a thing was impossible, that any such kind of communication would irrevocably lead to something more. Now, my perspective has changed. Partially, the reason is having experienced two major periods in life where I had a friendship and attempted to make it into something more and it didn't work out either time. So, experience says that attempting or forcing a relationship in a deeper direction can easily backfire. So how can it be easier or possible for the relationship to remain a friendship and nothing more? The answer is fairly simple; Islam should be the means and purpose by which we are bound to each other, and if it is the case, then as protectors, brothers and sisters to one another, mutual support is a key facet of our existence. What is a lone individual but precisely that, a lone individual? One supported and advised, accompanied and consoled, is surely able to go farther than one without such friendships in place. All of this is only relevant and considered with respect to full honesty with one's self and others. Dishonesty or ill intention are seeds of regret waiting to be planted in those hearts who seek where they should not find. Even so, the balance of human nature and human responsibility in any scenario can be achieved only, as far as I know, through consistent openness and awareness of the self and of Allah. We can and may falter, but the point is not in having fallen, it is in rising again.