- in the name of Allah -


Random memories tend to surface sometimes, and it may be better to let them out than keep them caged inside. One particular one came to mind just now, one day back in the Fall of '05, when the days seemed brighter and the nights more vivid. There was a voicemail message left on my cell, a voicemail of someone in a singing voice reciting the alphabet song, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G.."; of course ending with 'won't you sing with me?' Ahh, what things we remember. Time moves so fast, people come and go almost without notice, and even when they are noticed, they never seem to stay as long as we'd like. The big question remains, where the end of it all is. Just not in that sense. I know what the end will be, but what will be my end? It's a question I cannot answer, but only hope I will do/have done enough good to earn Allah's rehmah.


I shall note some down some recent observations I have made, and some quotes I can recall. I believe it was Imam Ghazali who said that one desire only leads to another desire. This I can vouch for as truth. By example, after satiating one's appetite, besides the will of the individual, what can stop him from eating more, not because he is hungry, but simply because he can and the action brings him joy? It is this line of reasoning that brings us back to the one and only place the human being can find peace in, consistently, and that is with Allah, in Islam. It should be simple then, if I have the answer to the question of 'where to find peace', that I would have it whenever it would be needed. But it is not so. The soul is a fickle character in a play made of vanity. People seek fulfillment from the approval of others, and such a thing based on the whims of mortals is destined to be lacking and void. But yet, I am part of these very same people, these people who cannot, even as much as they try, live as isolated islands in the oceans of humanity. There is something I seek, something I have not yet found, that eludes me so well and so intrinsically, it offsets the balance with every other aspect of life I have come to know. It may be that I seek some one, or my self, but whatever the truth, only time can reveal just what it is. Thus, these times are encapsulated in forgetfulness, as simply fillers between a time that once was, where innocence and idealism held sway, and a time yet to come, where truth and justice reveal the reckoning humanity loved to delude itself about. But, the question insists, can this be only that, just filler? What transcendent beauty is there still undiscovered that would give it this time more meaning, more substance? Where are objective and purpose found together, fused within a practical reality that does not need to call upon a new age, as it already has the best of yesterday and today?

Some people are relegated to living questions while others find answers. I pray Allah makes so that I meet one of these before my time is up.