- in the name of Allah -



Of a recent realization that struck me while reading an article written by a highly intelligent and well-versed but extremely prejudiced writer, I found that having knowledge and even wisdom is not enough for a human being. 

I used to think those two facets were the primary precursors to finding and remaining on the straight path, but as it turns out, I was mistaken. There is something far more important than either, that being *hidayah* or "divine guidance". We human beings can have all the knowledge we think we need, all the wisdom in every book we ever wrote, but all of that by itself will always be insufficient. Any point of view, whether for good or ill, whether well-intentioned or masking an ulterior motive, can be thoroughly rationalized so long as one has sufficient knowledge of language and history to do so. 

That's some dangerous shit. It's like giving a child a lit firecracker and expecting he knows what will happen, having never handled one before. Of course he wouldn't, so he would suffer as a result. People are much like this child, we find a little bit of knowledge or subtle understanding, and suddenly we presume to become something formidable and experts in fields. Our vision is so short-sighted, so limited, we can scarcely see the effect/impact of something that goes beyond our own fingers or ears. 

For that reason, maybe primarily so, that we have to seek Allah/God and try to rely on Him. I've not relied explicitly on Him in quite some time, after some prior disillusion in life I had, but there is a need to come back to it at some point. There would be no point to all the wisdom or knowledge I could have, if it was not complemented, placed in context with hidayah. At times I know I have been guilty of being able to rationalize why I keep myself so apart, of violating some commandment of His, and this is a slippery slope best left early as one can. I've often found myself choking on what I learn of reality, of the true depth of our imprisonment in this life. The only pills I know of are the bitter ones, the ones accompanied by grief or pain. In the midst of all this apparent despair, it becomes quite easy to forget whom I have to rely on, whom I've always had: my Rabb. I've longed to be independent of needing any one or any thing too much, for fear of being left hanging without a place to turn to. Alas, I can't be independent of Allah, I've always known I needed Him, though I haven't always *wanted* to need Him. It's simply been a necessity. Of course, there are times when the light can shine through all the proliferated darkness, and I can finally *want* to need Him again. Those moments are the most blessed ones, where clarity finally comes into focus and the meaning behind what 'is' lies in the palm of my hands. Alhamdulillah.