- in the name of Allah -


there's no medications for me to take, no way to end this dissonance, that keeps me, so out of place.
like how all humanity can suffice with pills and remedies, to snuff out what their souls can't stand, so they can feel as they please; I have no such off-switch, no means to keep the nafs in line, beyond what strength the heart deigns to give, in rare cases it hasn't yet encased itself in ice. fitan, trials of tests measuring mettle and essence, seems like I can only fail them all, as shallowness abounds me in abundance regardless of efforts. what good are any depths I might find, any wisdoms I learn, if alone in me they're left, with none else to share and discern? how can I reach any other soul, when this age I've come to, is when folk let die their dreams, making normalcy their abode?