أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
about a year and week, since last i heard that sound, the voice of one i seek, nearly embedded in my ears, if there was a way to turn back time, perhaps i'd relive those 35 minutes, and have it play over and over in my mind.
but He pulls time forward, drags me along with it, whether forced or willing, for the slave the march becomes inevitable. i do not mind, still my Future i chase, in moments of solitude or company, it's the reason i can muster smiles when this life gives me no -ade, but plenty of lemons for food to be drinking or eating.
even as i falter, even as i try to create between Him and i some distance, to stop the agonizing of one who knows he will tested, with dose after dose after distance. He made me, then breaks me, then remolds me, fashioning into whatsoever dimensions and consequences He wishes, for me just the instant and its decisions. i will live with whatever He gives, knowing so much of blessing, but the one star that's been absent from my palms, makes any forest or ocean only appear as desert, with me dying of thirst from missing the only substance to keep my engine running.
one Day, ya Rabb, let me find my rain, let me soak in it, knowing the fruit of my mortal effort and aims, were at last Then brought together, uniting those You had parted for a ways. ameen
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