framed Ideal: Rizq

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Concurrently with knowing what acceptance is, the notion of rizq (sustenance, provision) is equally precious. 

Both ideals my Rabb brought me to know through beloved that He brought into (and sometimes away from) my orbit. If acceptance is  the fuel to survive the absence, then rizq is the fuel to maintain a presence in life. 

What my Gift has taught me, it's difficult to place into words. Alhamdulillah, we both accepted each other with a wholeness that an idealist can definitely appreciate. It was not easy for the first few years, much of longing for resonance was something I had to let go of, at least for some of this life.

When the person you finally marry and are finally able to love because they shine with something that proves to the heart of being worthy, then...the price is worth paying, always. And if I am fully honest, it's truly a temporary foregoing. With a name that literally means, "Gift of God (Allah)". It's a cosmic irony, but also a cosmic, universal lesson for me. Such a Gift is gorgeous, worth any measure I can muster to keep her light preserved Forever. 

Somehow, I think acceptance and rizq go hand in hand, they belong together. One aspect is an emotional/psychological underpinning, and the other is survival of reality itself on terms reality understands. For me as a human being, I think these are the most beloved and necessary parts of my survival. 

It might be asked, and it is still wondered, if this slave is accepted by his Rabb. I think the answer is yes, but like the consequence of slavehood is accepting the price of everything on the road, then this "yes" is also as heavy a word as that path. I suppose I do not mind alhamdulillah. Though I oft over the years come back to facing the same realizations and accepting the reality of this life for what it is. 

Alhamdulillah, also for being able to still write, and have some peace and food and drink, things which many beloved are in need of. Oh Rabb, grant them serenity and take care of their every need, and shelter them wholly from every single harm that would ever come their way, ameen.