-in the name of Allah-

It took me 5 minutes of persistent logging in-attempts to finally be able to write this post. Alhamdulillah. At the moment, I will post something already shared, but probably not remembered (I have a tendency to slur and mumble speech). iA, more will be posted later today or tomorrow.

thumai yaad

(~1.5 weeks ago)

how can i be running away when the clouds of my heart release your rain and flood the fields of my mind while every thought is its irrigating drain? though there's a path to both our destinies, the trains we take may not be the same. the wheels of life spin as time passes, but like any frame it may need a new pair of glasses. i realized recently the key to being happy was to forgive the world despite any boulders it might hurl. so if the troll shouts from underneath the bridge, i'll have to be the wiser billy goat and leave the troll's bait in the fridge. to say our past was meaningless is like denying parental intercourse before our conception- the present and future can't exist without the past's complexion. i don't give up, i just understand that life is outside of me, though i live in its plan. i'm forced to feed myself hand-to-mouth all that life dishes out but at day's close the tally shows: struggle 1, serenity zero; until the dawn of mortality's throes.