- in the name of Allah -



divergence


resisting insistence, i stand on the wall in between heaven and perdition, seeing below on both sides the minions screaming fury and repentance. my path was chosen yesterday but its unclear now, the choices were evident once but less clarity abounds. surely like so many around and before me, i want the gardens of bliss with everlasting peace, a perfect existence unfettered by where notions of humanity reach. its the conundrum of no guarantees, that nothing i say or do will get me to a place underneath palm trees, a place of vigilant sunshine, with no want for skies or oceans, just the truth released from within every fortunate human being. it strikes me as particularly sad, that things i once took for granted now are the very things i don't have. its the people and the ways we used to be able to talk, how they've changed and now it seems i'm stuck in a warp. i see others reaching for the same clouds i once knew, but bitter disillusion and lack of resolve has me re-thinking the whole plot to this story through and through. i recall a short series of gripes, procedural inequities formed presumably to establish why it can't be utopian in design. there's essence of rebellion insidious in this expression, but i'll be damned already if the worlds not hellishly driven. still, i'm not fool enough to deny or turn my back on the power that Is, but simply using my ability of sight i decry the things i've felt, of how it all shouldn't be what it is. the question in effect, for my self, becomes, is the redemptive quality of then able to compensate for the injustice of now? ah who cares, the chips and peaces will fall and shatter where they will, just my path became a little cloudier still.