2.14.2015

- in the name of Allah - 

Of myself, a metaphor:

All of my efforts and aims and ambitions amount to only a speck of sand, but it is the backing and support and blessing of my Rabb that forms the desert itself. I wish not to become a dune, as I fear being swept away by the coming winds.

* * *

In contentment, alhamdulillah I lack for nothing: my family is alive and well, food is never scarce, water never far. I carry no debts, except that of being raised and supported by ones who loved me without condition, one I could never repay. I have warmth in winter's cold, coolness in summer's heat, clothes whenever I should need them, and an ear should I ever seek it. No person alive could ask for a life more stable than I have at present, innumerable blessings that, at times, shame my lack of ambition. 

My heart longs for nothing in this physical world, it can attach itself to nothing material no matter how hard it tries. This is my state, a state I am reluctant to forgo in order to become, truly, a man of this earth: taking from it responsibility and desire. I love the ideal, the way things aught to be, matters pristine and untainted and original and pure. I long for a place when justice is as tangible as gold yet a thousand times more sought after. As such, what is there here, in this plane, for me? What does a shadow care for but to find its like within the shade? This life gives nothing but trial upon trial, test laden with test, difficulty that success often breeds into a storming ego seeking more of its own (vain) fulfillment. 

How can one such as this find love here? Without love, is there or even should there be a reason to become one with this aimless river?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

what do you consider love? is it a thing of this world or beyond? are there different types of love? if so, which kind do you seek?

Nomad said...

I once had a comment written here replying to that question, but it doesn't seem fitting to me now. inshAllah I'll revisit this once I have a better answer.

nomadically said...

I want to try and frame my answer from two perspectives.

One, of me being asked: Love is a bond, a thing to connect and intertwine. In some forms it's of this life, mainly rooted in how human beings were created, trying to fulfill that need that brings people together. There are a few different types I know of, like romantic, familial, superficial, etc. I came to realize the type of love I've sought is a thing beyond this world, as so many of the issues I faced were rooted in seeking something that couldn't be found where I was looking. Honestly my answer to this question isn't nearly as relevant as it used to be, namely because of the goal I made for the akhirah.

Two, of the one asking: Where to begin? There is always something I wish I could ask, something I wish I could hear from you, like how you're doing for instance. But Allah knows when its better for me to know some things and when it's not. As for the actual asking of these questions, I hope their origin means you've found a love suitable for this life and the journey you have to take. I hope Allah makes every step of the way to Firdaus super easy to you, no matter how hard it actually is. -- وَعَلَى اللّهِ فَلْيَتَوَكَّلِ الْمُتَوَكِّلُونَ <@