- in the name of Allah -

Alhamdulillah, what a week of ups and downs. Been back in the states for barely 7 days and I can't recall a time quite like it. 

Maybe the most important thing, my eldest uncle passed away this past Monday morning around Fajr time (inna lilAllahi wa inna ilaihi raaji'un) after suffering a stroke on the previous Friday. I knew him somewhat well, he was the only uncle I saw right before leaving for pak in early March, wished me well and was superhappy for me. Turns out it would be the last time I'd see him alive. Hadha qadrAllah wa ma shaa'a fa'ala. Feelings regarding this were hard to pin down. Maybe a deep sadness that I couldn't bring into words, but strangely enough I was quite happy at seeing so many relatives at the hospital and then at the janazah that I hadn't seen in years and decades, and some I'd never even seen prior to that. Of course lot of duas went out for them, especially for my uncle. Thought a few times about what it'd be like to lose my parents in front of me...don't think I would be sane after that personally...I imagine that moment as the worst possible earthquake a heart can feel, torrents of sadness and tears crashing one after the other. No doubt that time is something I never want to happen but it will come. I just hope Allah helps prepare me for it, ameen. 

Among the secondary happenings, had a few ups and downs in lessons learned from being married and how that whole thing goes. Funnily (and expected I guess) enough I got advice and stories I never heard before from my bros and good friend about their marriage. Seems like the troubles I face aren't anything new! Alhamdulillah for past experiences from others and my own to let me know things aren't ever as bad as they might seem in the moment. Just grow past them all with sabr and keep looking at tomorrow. Haven't forgotten a thing about the past, also alhamdulillah. It sheds its light when necessary and needed, when the present times get troubled and grow dim, alhamdulillah. The road I seek is my Rabb's Siraat. May He make it easy for me and my ummah and all my beloved to follow, easily and with grace, ameen ya Rabb-al-'alamin.