- in the name of Allah -



In my past, there was a long period of time where I used to literally hate any idea of qadr/fate/etc, basically any notion that outlined the lack of control human beings have used to be a thorn in my side.

As to why that is the case, it's fairly obvious: who doesn't like being in control of where they go in life? On the surface, no one wants to have their existence go in a direction of someone else's choosing. Had any individual the choice, the most common inclination would be to choose their path for him/her-self. 

Alhamdulillah, I can say that is no longer the case. Within the past few months, I reached the realization that to hate on such notions as qadr and the like, would be to hate on something Allah Himself decreed. Honestly I could conceive of nearly nothing worse than for one to hate something like that..it puts a human being in the unenviable and disastrous position of being opposed to something Allah put into place. Other than shirk, I don't there is anything more full of ingratitude than this. How could I hope to get closer to Allah, have my prayers accepted, anything like that, if I held on to this idea from my past? I don't need to love qadr/etc, but I have come to neutral terms with it alhamdulillah. There is too much in life, in things that have happened and are happening, that one cannot fully grasp, so to hate on something because it outside of my purview is just straight foolish. 

Maybe the simplest root cause for this development is the deeper understanding that Allah does what He wills, and I can't be upset with that. Especially not if I'm trying to seek His ridwaan, to continue like I was previously would be a super-contradiction. inshAllah in time, it will become possible for me to love whatever Allah decrees, whether good or otherwise. This way my connection to Him can be more stable and my own being more impervious to lesser influences. May Allah help me on this journey, and help me to help my ummah along the way similarly, ameen.