- in the name of Allah -


Once I wrote that being in love for me was like stepping into a deep pool, with significant risk of drowning. I think this analogy was somewhat flawed. After considerable, slightly-related introspection, I have come to realize that I am the pool, and love the act of falling the soul intrinsically leans toward. It seems to me that falling twice, once in part and once completely, suffices one person for a lifetime. Or many lifetimes. 🙂

In any case, it's part of my nature that I try to delve deep into things, understanding them as well as I can, and so resonating echoes may be heard by those who reach those depths with me. Perhaps a better way to explain is that I tend to conceptually internalize everything, bringing it closer to where I am, in a sort of reverse-delving where the mind is a microscope for deeper examination of whatever is brought near. This fits my introvertive nature, letting me analyze what is external in a familiar setting.

No doubt this character trait has its flaws. Human perception will never be perfect, not in this life. Our ability to sense, understand, empathize, deduce, extrapolate, fill in gaps, finish sentences preemptively, predict futures just days or hours or even minutes, all of these are incomplete for us right now. It is ironic, in literal circumstances, the farther down one goes into the ocean, the more confined perception becomes to nearer and nearer proximity, light is scarce, darkness abounds except in those instances of bioluminescence (ie self-released light). Great, now I'm an angler fish looking for "prey", lol. 

Regardless, alhamdulillah for this trait. It's enabled me to unearth reasons for shukr to Allah in all the events of life, decipher patterns and trends and potential pitfalls, and make u-turns when even warning and awareness didn't deter the nafs. Perhaps the most important side-effect of this depth is that it has a tendency to look at things long-term, and prefer the things that are stable, will last and be permanent, so much so that the eventual end-road is nothing but Jannah itself. There is no other alternate destination, no acceptable substitute. It is the place where one meets his Creator, finds his peace abundant in spades. For any that may know me, and those I wish to know, I'd figure Jannah-tul-Firdaus is truly the most worthwhile of meeting places. May Allah make it ever-easy for us to travel its road, ameen.