بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Might be close now, this one, she could be as bright as the sun-, liquid -light condensed in its happy form. I haven't yet jumped off the cliff that invariably hangs in front of me. I've imagined it though, considered a bit of what it might feel like with this one. On the surface, it's not like any previous potential I've known, a number of logistical barriers exist, but she may be ready to jump too. Speaking of ready, am I? I, of all these human flaws, I, of he who leaps even after thinking? There seems more support in my corner than ever before, factors to balance the equation of my seeking with stability on the other side. Partly though, somewhere deep down, or perhaps it's just the whispers of shayateen doing their thing, but I hesitate slightly. My past loss and losses, of when the heart went forth, full capacity and then some, the resulting disillusion which took eons of non-linear time to get over (ie going in circles and circles, ages passing by in mere years of human time). That time of recession...I would never step backward into it ever again, had I the choice. So if backwards is no go, then forward is all that's left. There's no 'in the moment' for me, though I can move slowly enough that perhaps time can seem to stand still and I don't overjump the moment when it comes.

Does she know what she's in for? ... literally as I finish writing this question, a text arrives. It's her. Time zones apart, still it manages to find the right moment. My Rabb remains as He ever was and will be, the best of all planners.