Path

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

As the furnace cools, by one degree or two, the path ahead is easier to behold, when the present isn't so inflamed, or frozen underneath what is unknown. Though I don't know which moments might be right, for the spark to bring again its light, I trust my Rabb to make all those seconds in between, vanish in an instant when it's better as He might deem. Part of the trade with Him we've now made, to not push too hard or pull too fast, so when timing is just right, is when He brings it to pass. Tomorrow is the diamond in our soil of this earth, slowly forged by what He wills us to find of ache and toil, that we might reap the best of what He makes us worth. Love, what shines through this diamond, something for us to chase towards Home, as His guiding beacon. 

Re-Unity

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Part of the lyrics from Switchfoot-"You" : 

I hope to lose myself for good

I hope to find it in the end

Not in me, Me,

In You

Long have I been collecting, whatever parts of you I can find, slowly together a puzzle reconstructing, of what a mirror is when it's mine. Perhaps for all my mortal days, for all the time He gives me upon this earth to stay, that's what I'll be painting: the engraving your soul left on mine. So, if any part of you ever seems amiss or absent, glance anywhere in this direction, everything you'll find is just your own reflected light, shining from inside, fuel for when that Bridge must be crossed, by His will faster than lightning.

And as all these tests we overcame, what about the feeling after? As joy courses through our veins, and all to be heard around is the sound of laughter, mixed with tears of happiness and gratitude, for our Rabb Who let us taste of truth: being One is so much sweeter, when it's made of me and you. - iA

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

extended

6.30.18

did i say that my blessings reached only the skyline in proportion?

that was not correct

Been given galaxies of blessings, stretching from one end of the universe to the other, from infinity to forever. if i could type and type, stringing together hyperboles like links in a necklace, the pearls of the earth would vanish before i'd ever come close to an accurate reflection. His mercy is the sky itself, vapor and cloud, air that everywhere abounds, reaching inside with every breath and powering the lungs and oxygenating the blood for so long as we've got left. His love is the ocean connecting all oceans, filling all seas, not just the estuaries where the salty and fresh mix, but everything and including what's between - the groundwater seeping into the land and filling basins and vents, rivers and wells, there's no place where it won't reach; for His hope is the earth which extends and connects every piece of a puzzle that human minds never wholly comprehend, I know this sounds insane, I just don't have the tools or the brain to really express anything so i throw all the paint i know on this lyrical canvas, seeing if any of it sticks, trying to make a pictorial worthy of all He's given.

Rise

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

How strange that even in the vast moments of in between, those we'd call nothing more than mundane, fractions of syllables coming from you, among human beings there's no parallel of anything the same. A phenomenon long occurring, like gravity or friction, falling and flying, of two states we could always interchange, halves of a piece, with no each having its own, but mere mention and suddenly they're whole.

You've always been at least partly made of stars, of helium and hydrogen and other elements that float, a plasma unlike anything nature could fathom or compose. This is why you have to rise, for He made your human soul, not to settle in these lower planes, but to know again His Sky and find again your Home. 

Lunar Eclipse

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

One fifty four AM

It happened, it really has, a convergence of roads, from a plethora of possible plans, they came together, not the will of a man, but the gift of my Rabb, Who knew this since the moment we began. Just a slight tinge of sadness to color the present, something long lived with, a tiny price to pay for the seeking of Bliss. My Moon continues to shine, regardless of clouds, regardless of climes, ever in red and picturesque, her orbit endures, chasing of khair the very best. 

Rhetorically

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Come to me, my Future, don’t run away, let me embrace you, fully, whatever you hold, it’s my Rabb’s decree you contain after all, so be not a stranger to your destined one. I may not yet know your touch, or smell your fragrance, or feel the texture of your hair, but therein each is my completion. I have no past, my present is merely confection for your approach, my Future, that with your arrival the final door of me is opened, whereby I can but beam, a sun finding at last its fuel to shine for all of time. Would that I knew if you will reach me in Today or Tomorrow, but He assures me that among His gifts, you are well worth any wait.

Oath

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

On what I am, on who I'd be, there's no expiration date, no ending of this lease. A promise made once, is a promise forever kept, by permission of my Rabb, this is what I'll always be, who I've always been. There's no rush for Destiny, it's coming of its own accord, as He wills it form, with dua to shape from it our ease.

If the time ever comes, when all it does is pour, and shelter seems long gone, then such a moment is in part, what He's made me for: an umbrella and a shield of yours, to guard against all elements, keeping what's most precious, in certainty secure. 

Summer Festival

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

 mashaAllah, indeed! 😁

Opening

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Allah opened the doors of guidance to me, and I found it a garden. Alas, I would like to stand forever at its gates, gazing, awestruck at how beautiful and subtle it is. But it calls me in, has been calling so for most if not all of my life. How can I refuse? It's an invitation from my Creator after all. But oddly enough, it seems every step inside I take, there is yet another layer, yet another scene I did not see before. What to make of a door that leads to another door and yet another door? I can only think that there is no end to the journey of finding guidance in this life...not until I meet Him, with His ridwaan as the matchless gift. May my Rabb make this my end, ameen. 

Weightless

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

dreamer's gotta dream; that's the only way they survive, the only way they can breathe. doesn't matter if our feet are on the ground, or somewhere in the clouds, just have to keep open the lifeline: where looking upward has no bounds. been dosed for so long on reality, it's sunk deep down in your bones, convinced what you see with your eyes, is as far as it goes. it isn't, so from now I begin working on an antidote, not just the sleepy dragon's cure, but something to help ease the burdens' weight, when life seems to promise only more. 

iA

Phoenix

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

if your heart is a dragon still sleeping in stasis, then mine is a phoenix, always aflame while trying to burn slowly with patience. paradoxes keep firm the moment, unable to hold while never letting go, such is a state of one who's sight only Forward knows.

any time my Rabb throws me for a loop, sending me to learn a lesson of priceless truth, i may turn to ash from the cost of what is about to pass, but i can never fear from dust my rebirth, it was after all what i began as, being made of earth. 

thus lived and died, can't tell how many times, but each time i rise it simply reminds, like the cherry on cake is confection, how these tests are just the icing, on a treat scarcely fathomed. wings grown stronger with each passing, by gale force winds upward blown, scattering all the former pain, surging towards my Hope.

dragons hate the cold and love the heat, so it is the phoenix stays always Lit, for the sleepy one to remain awakened, and so echoes in sync their rhythmic beat.

Sassenach

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Just finished first ep of Outlander with a passionfruit La Croix in hand. Looks like a really good series, and unsurprisingly, I see traces of you just about everywhere in it.

Alhamdulillah for memories old and new :)

 

Soliloquies

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

shade of empty, 7/12

Just a day later, already nothing seems quite as bright, the vessel of the chest does its own contracting, telling me what I’ve long known, when I walked through those eons of night. While absent regrets, I have only submissions, to my Rabb Who owns the heavens I dream of and the earth I’m living. There’s much inside, waiting, wanting release, soon comes rain from these eyes, to water again that which grows still as seed. So striking it is how the world has no answer for this feeling, nothing that comes close or equal even seeming, it’s just incomparably unique while perpetually reminding of how human is need. Away from you, like I'm apart from myself, listening for echoes, of a place and time I haven't yet met.

titleless, 7/2

Allah forgive me, the words won’t stop coming, in any moment thinking, of you hurt or in pain or sadness feeling, when the rivers aren’t dammed then the water runs free, trying to reach my Rabb by any possible means. wish I could take this heart out of my chest, put it into yours, so it sits together side by side with its friend, so you’re never lonely left, always knowing how loved, always consoled, always with hope nearby kept. I know your intent, even if you question it yourself, you are no villain, no mastermind of evil, just a human being, longing to feel.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Oh Rabb, she is Yours, as am I. Be for her what You are for me, give her as You have given me, guide her as You have guided me, for what recourse is there for us but You?

I haven't any other. In my ease, in my troubles, whether alone or in company, it's just You. 

The road it took for me to be here...to have this knowledge as I know my own self...it is incomparably precious. Oh Allah, I beg You for her khair, for her ease, for her safety, whether I know of her or not, whether she remembers me or not. All of everything I've been about, is secondary to her being guided and reminded and uplifted. If You ever gave me the chance in this life, it would take me less than a heartbeat to choose. But if You kept it away...then I've long since accepted Your decree, whatever road it takes me on, whatever choices I'd have to make to reach towards Firdaus, I would. 

With Your permission, I will shine on, regardless of what this life brings or takes or gives or makes, it's all the same. 

Just one hope I would see manifest in this life ya Rabb: for her to shine too. 

 

Epinephrine

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

an Epi for your heart

Everyone needs a jolt from time to time, but how to waken a sleeping dragon, without getting myself caught in its fiery breath, and burnt to a crisp alive?

Perhaps first, I take the example of David (a.s.), facing a potential foe from distance, slingshot in hand, ready to launch syllables in sequence:

Oh Dragon! 

Why do you still lie asleep? 

When the world needs your fire,

To revive from its own ashes,

Everything it had lost from dream. 

Oh Dragon!

Your enemies have you lulled, deceived,

This time is not of your rest,

Rather the era when you must soar,

Reclaiming fuel from every moment,

To let free joy as thunderous roar.

Oh Dragon!! Dear Dragon..

Rise, spread again those wings grown weak!

Let all know from whence it was you came,

So hope and wonder are kindled once more,

And Legend again fills our skies with Belief.

--<@

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Alhamdulillah, beautiful weather past couple days. Cool, almost brisk early morning breeze and warm sun, such are the simple pleasures life. 

Surface

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

sometimes all that I can show, sometimes all that you can see, 

is just the surface of what I am, without the underneath.

who is this surface one? why does he in plain sight hide?
what must he keep wrapped? what currents swim behind his eyes?

if he could jump outside himself,
if he could leave his skin behind,

if he could change his name, his shape,
if he could care naught for the price,

he'd find a way, some way, any way,
just to fly

to your pain

and cover it all

so that it never existed

and you were whole again 

.
..
...

oh Allah, if ever love can heal, let it be in this. somehow, ya Rabb, let it fill the chasm and not widen it, let it fill the holes of life and not make more of them. there is a means to guidance in this, permit us to find it and hold on for as long as You give us life to live, Ameen. 

Lessons of a choice

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Lyrics, by NF