Contrasted

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

 

 

oh Gift, am I really "known" to you? when so much is censored of me, when my words are filtered from the way I'd want to think or speak, when I'm one who longs to touch the stars while you're one to fear landing on them with your feet? it is a bit silly, thinking of knowing or grasping, when all one has is a single straw but an ocean is the liquid being taken in, so slowly it seems, yet patience has to be the cloak I'm wrapped in. 

 

-

 

if i could, i'd express 24/7, were she able to handle the wavelengths, manage the attention, but it builds to a point where only distance lets her breathe, otherwise fulled to brim with the elixir i'm (always trying to be) conjuring. my depths with her have little resonance, echoes i can't send with thoughts i can't even compose, no way to simplify some parts of the self, into phrases translatable and thus finding a home. i suppose one might consider this balance, that i have here such a place, but i'm ever recollecting my beloved, sooner or later, wishing their echoes or essences could grace my vision or any of my senses, but my Rabb grants me often at times, of them, only their ignorance, so i know not their happiness or pain or sadness or gain or loss or strain they might experience.

 

-

 

such is the template of the test He has me walk in at present, and for much of this life i suppose, to see what choices i make as consequence. so be it, whatever He would see me through, i will go through it iA and one day, i'll be whole again too.

wonderment

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

 

 

wonder how you're doing, wonder how you're feeling, wonder how your sky is, the moment it's your ceiling. chill winds these days in places not expecting such things to face, world certainly changing, weather and warming, cooling and melting, but one thing of His steadily remains: such a bond between two of His slaves. i haven't the permission, to reach across these bounds, but even with the abundance of questions and absence of sounds, your hand in mine is still my objective.

 

one might wonder, how will this nomad survive, when the tides have him so scattered, spread apart the surface of this earth, like a wannabe canvas, except this life isn't the one of my painting, just the one for my trying, that He might raise me as something more completed and ready to begin his composing and comprising, of prose and artistry and laughter and joy and exultation worthy of Eternity as an abode i'll always be chasing after. some moments this life drains me down to my barest of pieces, like a stone the world etches its imprint on, marking me for its own, but trying to resist i remain, sanding away some surfaces so what i am is truly mine, not reflective of a world incomparable to Forever. 

yeah, Then still in back of the mind, and sometimes the front too, even if such wonderful, ecstatic expressions may escape your memories, rest assured they're well-preserved in the Red of my veins, waiting for the Day of their release. what i would have given, to hear your voice alongside those guitar strings being plucked, how that would have formed its own wave around my soul, another treasure tucked away in a bottle this life can never rip away even if my bones turned to dust.

alhamdulillah, firmament is lit as ever, even if my eyes closed, its beauty only gets better.

of Focus and Energies

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

 

 

if those eyes were any brighter or warmer, they'd be a pair of suns, twinned of course, piercing my soul, seemingly in return for the taste of wonder you've already shown me, the booty of a lifetime this rebel pirate could never steal but hope is granted him in perpetuity Forever. stay safe, oh anchor to my Heaven, this life will always be chain but you are one of its levers, a fulcrum for the fortunate, to push me higher up the mountain of tests, with meaning beyond all my expression, how could i encompass a twin, when all i've written does not even justice to one of my beacons? by His permission and everything He's sown inside the flesh that holds me within, you're never lost, always found, the morning dew of a sunrise we'll wait for as long as He wills to measure. one of my lighter wishes, to breathe you in, wrapped in your curls and waves, color the same or it changes, as your choosing, and as i shine, it's from the mirror's light we're bathing in.

Alhamdulilllah for such treasure, not yet held, but chased after for Ever.