carried on the wind

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

 

 

alhamdulillah, as some doors closed others keep on opening. got a big interview coming up Monday, very solid position that would be pretty amazing and doesn't have experience requirements to start off. duas for khair and landing it are always appreciated from my beloved

 

~

 

 

on other recent events, heard about some serious rain and flooding down south around Texas. first thought trailed back to you when i saw those streets overflowing and people trying to get out of the city before it piled on even more. even thought about reaching out, directly or otherwise. managed to keep that part of you that's in me, inside its box, because i can't let it out just yet. this internal compartmentalization is something my Primera mentioned to me some years back. it's become a necessary skill for the nomad to survive with, because i can't let the ocean run free. not yet. 

 

i would never choose to want catastrophes or something terrible, but i'm reminded of 2020 when i got to hear from you because of the madness that year was. would i ask for such a trial again, if it could trigger another revisiting? part of me says yes, and part me laughs at myself for carrying the thought. forward is where i have to go, and your name colored red is soaked in my blood for what destiny it holds. i keep this place especially because i should not reach out, and i can't lock away many thoughts and weights that my nature brings. gotta release somehow. 

 

maybe some day in this life, iA you'll taste that feeling Eesu gave you, from another little spring to fill your bosom with the light it was made for. maybe i could get a pic of such an momentous event? iA.  but what a complicated set of emotions in these few sentences, subhanAllah it is how it is, this life. 

at the very least, my favorite letter will be embedded within the middle [name] of my littlest beloved-to-be iA. and should my Rabb try me as He tried you, well then i'll just have to have more of your patience, the patience that this entire road has been made of all along. trying to be prepared for anything, crazy as life can be. as ever tho, i side with those who would choose to love regardless of having lost it or not. always. if lovers must bleed for being themselves, well then that is the price of it, and bi ithniAllah gotta stay true.

ma'asalaama, in every moment