half Full

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

some cups are meant to be savored, meant to be held, gentle and firm, for a human being is stronger than glass, like steel the self, never to be shattered, because He already returned and reformed, His creature made first from dust and water into flesh then atoms again compelled. 

and once in a lifetime, there is a cup like a glass of wine, a drink i have never drank, a cup to truly marvel in the fingers, how it curves and holds something delicious inside, but His permission - truly only exists for me outside of time, beyond the doors of its cage, where things kept leashed can be unsheathed to breathe and let the heart have its way, iA.

~

i could say the same of myself: to wonder if i have only ever been an ideal to you, knowing the nature of gravity and longing and decades of ripening apartness. that is a question only you could answer, but let me declare, with the certainty of life and death and akhirah, with knowledge of every major choice i have ever made, present in the mind: you are more to me than you can imagine. why do you think i have spent and continue to attempt all this time towards expressing that? 

too much questioning of the self, it needs affirmation on a physically spiritual and ascendant level. for perhaps a future memory as remedy, i refer you to my Sailing Vistas post, which has been updated with additional memories. Perhaps most suitably revisited for when you have some free time for yourself iA.

would love to hear your feedback of it, more than anyone else ever, but i cannot say if this additional gift from my Rabb would arrive in this life. truly do not mind. alhamdulillah, the best parts of everything i have ever known, are all things and events and people that He brought to me, without my being deserving of them in the first place. onwards, with beautiful cups in hand.