- in the name of Allah -
Are we always destined to make the same mistakes over and over? Is life truly the circular path that we end up back again where we thought we started it all in the first place? I know, rhetorical questions don't really have a place in this day and age. Answers are like gold; everyone's searching for it but it's one of the most precious things that most people don't have.
Despite people reaching out to me, I resist. I do not necessarily pull back but there exists a void whose blanket of obscurity I cannot penetrate. This void is mainly defined as the future. I know not what it holds for me, but I find myself ever-desirous, as usual. What becomes of a time one hopes for, but to the moment he thinks of it, it is a time that remains elusive, hiding behind a corner appearing a million miles away? Do we retain optimism in times of hardship, or do we react as clams and shell up when the tides come again to change our paths in the sand one more time? I don't know which path is wiser, whether to be protected and yet have missed out on a chance, or risk the sleeve and possibly end up with a naked soul. My need for deen persists through my evolution, continually invoking its purpose in tranquility. I seem unable, however, to use that need for deen to mold my actions and emotions. Chance leads the 'next thing on the list of whenever', my schedule these days.
/ / /
falling while wishing to fly, paradoxical whims buttressed in reality's lie, careful weaves of letters no longer enable but only fetter the wave building within a soul full to brim with the idiotic nuances of holding the philosopher's stone - but tied to the ground, bound to the fate of a mortal, oh-so-human drone. too many needles in the haystack, I've lost blood before, hesitant to lose more hemoglobin, if I don't get that rush I fear I may perish still to oxygen malnutrition. there's a reason why I might speed driving the highways of life's intermittent disguises of distraction and badly-written surmises: speeds 100+ remind me of flying, from the top down or down up, it doesn't matter as the wind has my back even if I hiccup and my momentum staggers. free, free like the wind that isn't bound to the ground, but open and ever-expanding to fill the space of wherever it can reach. but I am not made of gas, but solid, molecules firmly entrenched into a pattern I've come to despise, wanting, wishing, always in the back of my mind, a thought to fly and leave this petty world behind..
2 comments:
"Are we always destined to make the same mistakes over and over?"
Hells nah, the whole fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me thing...
"Is life truly the circular path that we end up back again where we thought we started it all in the first place?"
No, life is a linear path, point to point, birth to death.
"...it's one of the most precious things that most people don't have."
This is true!
"What becomes of a time one hopes for, but to the moment he thinks of it, it is a time that remains elusive, hiding behind a corner appearing a million miles away?"
Makes things more interesting... Think how boring tedious everything would be if we didn't have that brand of blissful ignorance.
"I don't know which path is wiser, whether to be protected and yet have missed out on a chance, or risk the sleeve and possibly end up with a naked soul."
Naked soul isn't too bad... really... it isn't. Stop being so afraid and make mistakes already. It's a whole lot better than never knowing... and that's what you want right? To KNOW the answers. Besides, you won't always find someone like me to answer your "rhetorical" questions :P.
And as to your last beautifully written part... That's how I feel 75% of the time.
Love your writing as usual.
Take care my friend.
Ok, so I read it. It was difficult, but the poetic parts drove me to read it all the way through.
But I'd have to disagree on some things with you. People never make the same mistake twice if they never learn from their first one. If they do make the same mistake twice, I'd like to think of them as intellectually incompetent and in my eyes, the value of their existence is shrinks every time they make the same mistake.
Ahh....the future. Its obscurity is what makes it beautiful. One cannot know what will happen in the future or if the decisions that he is making are right or wrong. The best way to live lies in the simplicity of not doing anything. Do what you think is right and put your trust into God. If something is not in your rizq, then you won't get it no matter how hard you try, but if something is in your rizq, then you may not have to do anything and it'll just fall into you lap.
That last bit is very beautiful and poetic, but to me, it sounds like you're angst-ing. No wonder you said you were partly Emo XD this very nearly sounds suicidal.
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