أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
..of your absence, of the one who'd love me as i'd love in turn, maybe what a lover seeks most regular, before every sunrise, after every sunset, many parts of me this Life can only fracture, but alhamdulillah at least that the One Who tries me, gave me your visage in which wholeness can be confided. my living is a skeleton, an apparatus constructed of minimalist mechanisms to push and pull and carry behind in a backpack all ambitions, suitable for the nomad who hasn't a home when his beloved are farthest from his touch, farthest from his grasp.
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..that your silence will always pierce me, "so used to missing" i am, just wish inside that phrase of mine, had alongside it your smile, your lips, to be nibbled upon and sating of desire, not simply physical, but existentially fulfilling in a way twins fully paired might inspire. the only part of my goal on this shitty plane, the only piece of me i could fathom seeing connected (intending no bounds crossed or other bonds severed), is finding your hand encapsulated within mine, the dreamer's dream that gives some fuel as substance for earthly chasing (while never ever never forgetting...that Garden where all our intersections coalesce, iA).
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..i am only a phantom, scarcely real, rarely gathered, not in a single place, but across this earth and inside your hearts scattered, so much is there to be felt, but sometimes from the ocean i'm most distant kept, like walking breathing living ice, unmelted because resonance is the fuel of my chest while also too its kryptonite, an absence emptying, but still alh hope remains hydroelectric, because i envision your touch and how everything in me it'd melt, a liquefaction so utterly welcome, no measure of silence or absence could end my chasing until completion becomes our dinner attained.
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