- in the name of Allah -


Among the steps one takes in life, sometimes the endings are just as important and necessary as the beginnings. The journey I began in getting married last March concluded recently, after long and extensive deliberation. Took many people's opinions and insights, weighed as many factors as I could fathom, made istikharah on my decision, and so it was made.

There was enough of pain and friction in that time, but still have to say alhamdulillah that it forced me to grow in ways I just hadn't accepted ever before. I never got into it expecting or hoping it would end, my only rationale and purpose in it was to have a chance at finding light down the road in life. I didn't assume she would be the light, but it was amazingly ironic that the ex made my desire to find that brightness so much more intense and tangible, while herself turning out to not be part of that road for long. Regardless, I hope Allah forgives her and I both of our mistakes, and makes our way to Him exceedingly easy, ameen.

If I hadn't felt through this experience what I did, my ambition wouldn't be nearly as defined as it is, my resolve not remotely as strong. What Allah says about His tests is true, He created life and death to see which of us is better in deed, gave people wealth and children and made some as trials for others - to test the claims of their belief. Can't fall backwards now, have to press onward, keep the sight trained on the end it seeks, perhaps finding along the way someone who wants to be part of that goal inshaAllah.