- in the name of Allah -

somewhere there inside of you is a part of me that beats the same as I do, so maybe every echo I imagine is truly a ripple of wind felt by the heart but for all else unfathomed. it's true, "life always gets in the way", but I hope Allah lets me be the one always 'getting through', so no matter if there's anything there to say, these meager letters hold on forever to truth. merely a painter with myriad of colors and strokes, bridging the past and tomorrow in the present with hope, that He might grant my vision beyond completion in Firdaus.

~~~~~

I often wish it were possible to take what I see and think and feel, literally out my head and chest, so that I might be able to show someone else what it means. Since I began this road stepping into tomorrow, I cannot fathom a life bound fully here, completely in dunya, without having an inborn flame calling to something greater. Interestingly it is no longer dissonance with life itself that bothers me whatsoever (though tedium and a drag it definitely is), rather the dissonance is with people, when I cannot make them feel what I do, when I cannot explain all the factors behind what it means for me to be what I am. I swear it's like I've lost the ability to verbally communicate. My tongue is just so inept and incomplete and slow, communication gets bogged down so often, it's like telepathy is the only option left -_-... yes, reality is still here. Unfortunately, it isn't just the laws of physics and gravity holding people down, but rather the sum of the chains on their hearts and souls that they content themselves with thinking that what their senses tell them is enough, that what they see is all they will ever know- this is the greatest delusion of fantasy ever perpetrated by humanity, to have forgotten that this life is just one part of existence, that when it ends is not when we end, but rather when the sum of all we've been, begins. Alas for the day when the postmodern becomes the the ancient and perhaps every trace of morality and restraint is lost, how low will people have sunk while thinking themselves the epitome of evolution? If we were alive then, no doubt the irony would choke to death. Alhamdulillah though, my existence will not be an age or epoch, just some decades or less, then I'm called back to my Creator and shown the truth of my deeds. InshaAllah it's an easy reckoning, and for my people too, ameen.