- in the name of Allah -


when I look at life all I see is compunction for me to leave or refrain, for all it offers to me is so fleeting and so stained, how can any come to love such an existence of pain and misery, suffused through the carpeted textures of the surface, where most live and find easy release in escape disguised as remedies for fools? are there any other eyes for me to see out of in this present where the beauty is not lies, to find a place of rest that by worry or agony is not compromised? could I but rip them from their sockets, perhaps take a stab or two (or three) at the chambers of the heart, enough of me might leak away so I need not contain this pain. I am fool wrapped in so many layers of ignorance of what this place offers, yet what is it all if not made to make us confused? where are my rainclouds of patience to hail down sabr on my self? the heart is gone, the soul turned away, just the body with its senses remains. for one such as I to be unable to find or create a light, is as if darkness itself was all there is to find, blindly I stumble and soundless I scream, for none are near to where ever it is I might be. to be sure, my Rabb is never far, but I have no fuel with which to make a call, no flame burns for this moment where I am but ember without heat or purpose. living seems but the way for a slow death, alas for entropy encasing all of me and the parts still in the body left.