Cognizance

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

began 11/29, not long before the Sunflower

some way, some how, I’ve fallen short of You,

even if I stacked all my deeds

like chips upon a table,

I’d lose the bet of worthy being,

for if I am

alone

I can never be enough or able.

In every thing I attempt,

in all that I intend,

I see my -comings ever shorter-,

the end of a stick

so frail,

it’d snap in two

at the lightest wind.

can’t help but think or feel our distance grows

the slave from his Master,

do I realize further the chasm

with things You bring me to know?

Oh Rabb, how can I nearness seek,

when I am the puddle’s fish

with out its school

unaware of sustenance,

floundering about,

in my own cage,

barely beast,

that finds for itself but doom as stage?

If You shelter me not,

if You do not forgive,

if You do not encompass me always,

I will be as dust

though human You have me made.

I beg, being one of those most needful begging,

for without You I’ve always been

simply nothing.

Your care, is my sanctuary,

Your pardon, my relief,

Your acceptance,

changes into Hope

all my pangs of grief.

If You erase not my sins

they would swallow my soul,

as drops of ink

lost amidst a darkness, deeper
than the blackest hole.

But for Your favor shown,
I could have no aims,
and would but stand alone,
but with my submission,
my surrender,
of my most precious pieces,
at last
breath is easier to breathe.