بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

can't ruminate on all the disappointments, have to let them go as quick as they come, like the flotsam of the sea, need to wait for it to dissipate, perhaps reach the pure water of the open ocean, holding in it what it is i seek. i don't know how to think of a gift that reaches my tongue as salt, a sweetness i found evaporated and replaced by a bitter taste that my sense of irony by now has grown fond of. i wish there were more understanding of people, than simply selfish need, or is selfless love so rare, that all we can do is consider it the scarcity of a dream? i once thought it was nice to be needed, then i reflected on how amazing it was to be loved, but what if those two things, need and love, were different spokes on the wheel of life, not the flip sides of a coin i thought them to be?

i have no answers to such trains of thought, my tracks are woefully short these days, long-term planning put to bed by what might be running in my cells totally side-ways, even yet i may reach for the melatonin, as tired and ready to sleep on occasion as i may have been, the beauty of deep sleep calling me to forget the questions my nature dives in. 

 at the very least, if my Moon can shine, if anything of life might evoke her smile, then of answers i have no need, for in that glow, exists the essence of all i hope to find, iA.