أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

 

 

few different things cooking in the mind lately, some writings to come iA.

 

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first is a piece to come, that i'll call "Ode for the Brokenhearted", plenty of timely reflections in it. lot of the things i write, maybe all of them, have often/always felt insufficient, inadequate to the task of conveying my message or living up to/reaching the ideal i chase. especially when it comes to you. i had to write 'Resolute' but i couldn't fathom how it might wrap itself around my Muse, truly being comfort and solace and strength like i wanted it to be. the post seemed to me as empty shallow words that could never capture and ease the pain of loss. but i had to write them and try anyway. alhamdulillah especially for you being in good hands, good company, things with fam and all going well, being there for you as they should be. if He could let me like the gentle breeze sometimes blowing across your face, i would be totally cool with that. if i must seem as phantom, then at the very least somehow iA i'd like to still find a way to bring some peace.

 

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another, a reply/corollary to couple of the songs from Feels. intimacy so effortlessly captured, sensual and longing, earnest and open, once He gives me permission, perhaps by the time we reach our Garden iA, then that is the first way i'd choose to relish union, as if all the restraints were finally cut from my limbs and my intent and hope can equal, finally, the actions i seek (among them, writing on thy neck too. fa sho, iA). not surprisingly, two of the most perfectly-resonant in this facet were Camila's Shameless and Lana's Lust for Life. in the latter, nowhere else have i heard spoken aloud the same truth i've found...mA. living this life, at least at the depths we do, requires more than merely staying on the physical, rote-ritual level. the passion is utterly intrinsic to our species, and it goes beyond just fulfillment of inner urges...it is about being able to find meaning and purpose in life through the presence of a bond whose manifested state far, faaar surpasses the ordinary, our fuel to survive the mundane. we could not exist as machines, and honestly neither as animals (not hedonism at all, though on the surface that's what it may seem). we feel, and often enough, have to challenge our feeling and overcome it, because this life truly just ain't enough. it's why Jannah was made after all.