Resolute

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

 

 

how often the case i think my own problems to be so large, so troublesome, difficult to accept. and then to learn of the pain of my beloved, and it's as if any weight on me was nothing at all, a feather by comparison.

 

i wasn't expecting to find dreamer again, but every so often i click the link, just to see if my Rabb will let me catch a glimpse into your life again. found it, today. subhanaAllah..wow. if my 2020 was off the charts for me, then for my Muse, 2021 has been perhaps worse. 

how might a slightly distant one offer solace to his beloved? this solace should have within it, comfort and reassurance and strength, and be made of the same substance you've long elicited- hubb. 

probably anything along these lines i'd say you'd already know, but in case an echo is useful, i don't mind being the record player. the hardest trials carry the highest rewards, if one faces them with "patience"....the absolute easiest word to say but hardest word to remember. there's a reason for the order of the verse in Baqarah, "and seek aid through sabr and salat" - sabr got mentioned first, before aaaanything else. if a slave wants help from his/her Creator, patience is the first, most necessary ingredient. this is especially so because one has to be patient with the decree, with qadr itself, and because the answering of duas is not often in our human-desired time frame. 

if i had the option of somehow carving myself or my history in further scattered pieces, that my Rabb would accept any or all of it as an offering to stave off what you had to face, i would have chosen this instantly. He didn't give such a choice. in the present, in this life it seems, i am scarce a phantom, but one ability i do have is dua. you should know you're already in them, every day. now that i know something of what you face, more dua for His aid and support of you will flow iA. 

 

one of the wisdoms of pain, that He brought me to learn over the years - facing it, accepting it, learning from it, remaining steadfast...all of these, let the heart grow and the breast expand. our challenges certainly help shape us, but that shaping can go in two directions = either by shrinking, or by expansion. Expanding is hard, i know, and further trials will follow sooner or later, but being open and releasing that emotion is the right call, the better call. you are truly a beautiful being, and to stay that way, emotional release is absolutely necessary. keeping such magnitude of feeling inside, for too long, is extremely unhealthy and dangerous, spoken by one who's been on that side of the fence. alhamdulillah i see it venting, easily the most you've (ever?) written in such a short amount of time. 

 

be at ease bi ithniAllah, you're stronger than you know