- in the name of Allah -

seeking always the things which last, which carry the most meaning, life just has a way of constantly draining a person, repeatedly demonstrating those things which wither away and lose any meaning. trying to keep a lid on it, keep my self from losing its pieces like it did before, as apathy and lack of resonance revisit like embedded plotlines of a record that keeps on playing. 

for all I love of ideals and beauty, sometimes, often times, I find in myself their greatest lacking. this on top of what life shows these days, and the weight is truly immense. how to keep the vision i have ticking, when my own shortcoming makes my very next step stutter? how can such a being dare to look beyond, months years decades, past even his own death to the hope of a better end? 

as always, in need of duas aplenty, guidance to dim the darkness of these moments I can't easily shake, strength to keep striving for akhirah no matter what shifting winds I face.