بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

so this is what steady days feel like, neither high nor low, neither drowned or ecstatic, but kept by Him, in this shade in between. perhaps the secret to all of life's problems is here to be found, in accepting everything that my Rabb wills for me, whether to hear from my beloved or not, whether to be in company or alone, whether I walk under skies clear or darkening, none of that matters...for I recall Him regardless.

I always wish I could hear their echoes, to know how they fare, but it is not something He deems fit for me to know at all times, or even as often as I might prefer. After all, ultimately He knows better than I, so if He's chosen those unknowable things for me, for me the task is to accept His will. It could be said that I could seek to know, if knowledge was that important to me, that I could scale the walls of distance and circumstance any time I so wished. 

Truth is, everything about my beloved is a gift from Allah, knowing them, having met them, hearing from them, sharing a bond with them, none of these are of my own doing. For me to try and force it, does no honor to how my Rabb does things. It is His pace I would follow, His permission, perhaps (is my hope) that His contentment with me in allowing these kinds of things their own specific time and space. 

That which I seek, has no way to be sought except with Him, no way except through Him. Goals and dreams to encompass this life and the next, to bridge life and death and afterlife, this is the unseen spark behind the actualized idealist, one trying to unify the sight of everything that can and cannot be seen, so there is no loss between now and then, only gain, tremendous and immeasurably amazing gain, gain to dwarf all conceptions I've ever known. 

It's so funny, He showed me love, let me feel it a bit, then took it away. Only to give it back to me, whole, years later. Whether it is for my provision in this life on the one hand, or it is my dream of beacons rejoined in the next life, in both spheres is the heart surrounded, even time and distance feel almost weightless. The cosmic beauty of this I could never hope to express, not with a mortal tongue, not with these mortal fingers, for this is something reflecting on the immortal, with reliance on the Ever-Living. 

~

chasing Tomorrow, hands outstretched towards deeds intended, but still unmet, one Day we'll know what it was we'd sown, how grew those seeds, how true we were, with what we had of knowledge and means. if all I could ever be is the compass and its needle, pointing back to Him, then my purpose in your heart might be fulfilled and completed, filled beyond brim with blessings, uncountable and immeasurable, the product of love with salvation