بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

it's strange to have patience as one's only companion, one that i cannot abide, yet is the only one i could possibly have close to me these days. i have asked my Rabb questions to which i know the answer. "how much of me is enough? what more do You wish?"...and knowing the reply would be, Everything, but what if one had nothing left innately? of what worth would be deeds when they are simply physical representations of skeletal movement, unable to drawn on anything from the unseen? i can see something of tomorrow, now, and a bit more of Tomorrow, then, but my distance between either short- or long-term futures appears inexpressibly vast when one has no fuel in the present. my Rabb, what can i say? would You choose an end for me sooner, far sooner than later? i would be most grateful for this, to be unstitched from this mortal coil so i need not contradict it any longer. let my designs in Your plan be fulfilled already, the small seeds of fate i tried to plant towards something decent find root, and let me be, from it all. eventually, if i am kept here, i will have to circle back around to submission once again. i suppose that might be pleasing to You. alas, always the slave pays the price for his own decisions and inabilities, and the length of fate's rope that remains tied to him. freedom, delicious, unbound, unfettered, untainted, freedom. some day, perhaps?