بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

One of the underlying reasons I have for persisting with my choice is so that my Moon never faces another moment of darkness for so long as she lives [and beyond, but that's always been a given]. Trying, difficult times will happen, no doubt, but there is certain kind of pain/agony/despair that is unique to darkness, wherein it tries to cloud all light and hope. InshaAllah that will never be the case for either of us again.

Of the qualities of a beacon is that a certain frequency keeps emanating, regularly, with constancy.  There is no further aloneness, no further absence of fuel for the heart to look forward to, as I myself would have to be ok so that I have a chance of reflecting something of worth for my Moon to remain shining. Ultimately, your smile, lasting, comfortable, at peace, of eyes and lips both, that is among what I seek. I don't need to be the final victor of your hand, (though I'd absolutely love that to be so), so long as your sakinah was complete and everlasting howsoever my Rabb wills you to find it. Something so incredible cannot be coveted, but simply sought from Allah as a gift that's entirely His to give. I have a hunch my duas may help shape this destiny, but a slave can never presume to know for certain what his end will be. Thus I've left it to Him, as the most precious of treasure to keep in wait for me, iA.