بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

keep me alive, why don't Ya, keep away the pieces of me most precious, see if my lungs still function while You force blood to flow and oxygen pumping, my blessings You kept numerous and infinite even if i'm on an edge and not jumping. tell me how to think, how to perceive, how to keep close my beloved, when all this life You own seems to do is cut me off from my most intangible needs? if the inner chamber shuts and i resort to no longer feeling, then again i become like machine, a collection of nerves and muscles moving to some rhythm or reason of Your permission, like praying or refraining from evil while capacity for it persists,...but what becomes of me? soon, can't tell when, the longer in this state i live, the less of me there is, most of it faded on the wind, carried on the backs and wings of birds i love but can't hold yet in the palm of a hand soon to be the same as dust. they say we aren't tried beyond limits, but sure as heaven feels like that's what i'm approaching, even if ties aren't strictly cut and beacons beloved retain some semblance of light from distances far too distant for my taste or touch.

if i could let her go for this life, not chase after that only mortal spark that echoed with my soul, then this price You make me pay, has not quite so high a toll, just hope i can recognize the self again, before the start of Judgment shows me what i've been