Unremarkable musings

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

 

 

you know how the saying goes, "not out of the woods yet"? well, seems like life itself is my woods, and it's a deep, deep forest lol.

 

alhamdulillah, for many things. maybe for everything. trials not ended, but that is to be expected. daily struggles, trying to retain semblance of the self amidst the ever-constant subtle pulls toward some angle of conformity. though, having a routine is nice alh. even as many darker undercurrents of the self/shaytan have to be subdued, the journey is onward. always, ever, onward.

 

sometimes feels like i don't see my birdies much these days, but autumn weather getting wet and chilly, tends to have that effect. but they're still there, even if i can't always see them in numbers as much, their chirps and feathers get noticed one way or another. 

 

in random news, finally got a new pc alhamdulillah. been a long, loooong while since i did that. unlike previously, this is geared more towards office/work uses at home (instead of that beautiful gaming rig from 2011/2012 i still have mothballed in the garage - sigh, love that thing). software developing and learning the intricacies of programming and the like, lends itself to such an upgrade. 

 

the skies are not quite as gloomy as i make them out to be. even in grayer days, it's easy to mesh with the rain and settle in the moment. perhaps my only hope is that i can somehow retain enough light and khair for my beloved, for all the days left that He's going to make me live. can't ask for much more than that. the Garden, is still *the* Garden. reunification is never something far from my mind, never far from fueling my existence. alhamdulillah for that.