a just in case reply

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

 

 

if you wondered what it was, she reminded me of you, like a gust of brightness laced with lunar gems, revealing almost instantly a soul i knew i'd love to befriend. would i go out on a limb, or is it simply the most natural position, if i were to say, that He grew my constellation...simply because to you was the resemblance? is that what it takes? for me to see echoes of acceptance, that trace their way back to you, and the hands i haven't held yet?

 

somehow, my Comet's paths and existence intertwine with your history, not only in sharing geography of where you grew up, but also she's connected to where that old fundraiser was held, when i wore contacts for the first time ever, because apparently i was trying to impress you so i guess i thought it might be cooler or better (lol such a kid). 

 

point being though, somehow the connections are there, deeper: of the words the Comet spoke, she said she felt she'd seen me before, known me from somewhere, somehow,....utterly reminiscent of a moment in 2018 when you spoke of souls and our meeting long before we physically existed.  

 

how is that for creating strings and tying them together? couldn't make up these oddities of coincidences if i tried, but must say - alhamdulillah, it's so easy to be grateful when one's Rabb comforts His slave with not just a memory, not just a Future's hope, but mixes into the present a certain strand of brightness that seems straight out of your DNA, grown all into a beacon beloved of her own right. 

 

inshaAllah i hope to write less of the pain of absence and separation, and more and more of the nur that He causes my beloved to be, whether in nearness, as my Gift is, or in distance, as my Moon is, whether known since forever, or just for too-short moments, it is such a blessing, alhamdulillah always