-in the name of Allah-
So here I am. I've known this place before. It's a little cold, a little deserted, a little nowhere. Why I'm here I'm not sure. It could be the potential of loss. It could be betrayal of the only thing I've ever known. Of course betrayal is only for this life. After we die it's all truth and nothing but. I have few thoughts these days. The pc occupies my time. RPG and FPS games induce a mindlessness numbing. They take away the thoughts that bring pain. I think my nature is reactionary. That is why I am how I am. Where do I go from here? In another life I wanted to be married. Now I don't know where I am. School is an afterthought. Friends are foregone. Existence is tempered by my own reality. Do I rise or fall? I made a prayer to Allah once. If I should live to see a worse time may He let me die before then. May be I'll survive. Left with what? Remnants of myself and what I believed? Among the men alive I am the most foolish. Foolish to think thought could dictate action. Foolish to think that I can rise above myself when the world is my antithesis.
The only thing I know: I am alive.
1 comment:
"Its only when we've lost everything, that we're free to do anything."
Now is the time of renewal and redevelopment. You are no longer a slave to your desires, turn to Allah (swt) in obedience and you'll find levels of freedom and joy you never imagined could exist.
Sheikh al Darqawi says:
The sickness affecting your heart, O poor one, comes from the passions which pass through you; if you were to abandon them and concern yourself with what God ordains for you, your heart would not suffer as it suffers now.
[Letters of Sheikh al Darqawi, trans. by Titus Burkhardt]
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