perpetual the Aim

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

 

 

 

nowadays, the melody in the back of the mind, playing on auto repeat, telling me it's only a matter of time:

 

"every step I take, every move I make, I'll be missin you.."

 

i'm incomplete, a puzzle without its pieces, a forest without its trees or a tree without any of its leaves, call me a fish absent its sea, or a brush missing canvas, consider me as glass without a window to have itself in. i know this existence will never be able to reconstitute me, from its missing of you, and i've lived to be ok with that. can't ask this life something it's incapable of holding, for dunya is a blind man with a strong sense of smell, able to tell certain strands of what's coming, except for obstacles or pitfalls like a cliff that evoke no scent, so it falls into them unknowing and unwitting.

 

but this is no complaint, alhamdulillah i am contented, with a Gift that suffices and lives with me in a wisdom of His so perfectly measured, i never could have chased this design with only my own efforts. 

 

it's true though, i know what the ocean shines like when it becomes a diamond, when every ray of beauty emanates as if from a single space, chasing at the speed of light its beloved and wishing to share with them in all its blessing and grace, given without request from its Maker Who constructed every atom of its beautiful interior. i am the most mortal of men ever made, flaws accompany me as often as life requires choices to be made, but that wish, the wish, my only aspect of ascendance, to be for once and for ever with my beloved in a Garden eternal and flawless, indulging of every desire, completing every aim inside of perfection...that is my unanswered question.

 

~~~~~

 

wonder if my name stays on your lips, inside your sighs, if your dreams still hold our possibilities,  of what there is to be felt, when a soul becomes alive. forward still i look, to every moment reunited, beginning with the superficial and delightful, despacito with those thighs, and ending somewhere embedded, kisses and other things intermingled, hearts pounding with a union just a lifetime in the making. 

 

i hope...some day, perhaps by Then iA, i am no longer just your test, not just your exam, not just the question qadr tempts you with, to see if you would pass. i want to be your fruit, the cherry on your sundae, the icing He gives you on your cake, after all is said and done, after you've poured your heartful soul into surviving, i want nothing more than to stand there for you, at our finish line. fuck this world, i want nothing that it has, for He kept you from me, for now, so Tomorrow is my goal, the place where i seek your hand --<@